Happy cake day, @GeekFTW@lemmy.zip

*To the tune of “Winnie The Pooh”:

Nani the fuck

Nani the fuck

Took a DDT off the apron

Nani the fuck

Nani the fuck

Suzuki might be dizzy today

The d4’s! The humanity! (Seriously, all-time great AEW moment.)

Dirt sheets dirt sheets dirt sheets.

Nice. I seem to be immune to this curse.

Although, every time I type the word ‘nut’, it autocorrects to ‘but’. Which is weird.

And yes, I frequently type the word ‘nut’, I’m a grocery worker. lol

Bruh, I’m simply saying I wouldn’t want such a change, unless I’m dead, in which case, I wouldn’t care. Because dead people tend to care about very little. If you wish to elevate this to attempted murder, all I can say is:

I fight dirty, I hug and kiss!

Now, all that silliness out of the way:

If I had to replace Tazz, it would be with Matt Menard before Don Callis. Not because Carny Hot Dog is bad at commentary, I just like Hot Dog Man as a heel manager that occasionally does commentary much more than as a full-time commentator. I also really like Tazz on commentary, mainly for the same reasons you listed for disliking him. He’s also aware that the IWC likes his silly/awkward moments, and he leans into that, much in the same way Jericho’s Learning Tree gimmick is rooted (pun intended!) in the criticism he’s getting.

“What are you gonna do, stab me?” lmao

Over my dead body.

Yes and no. The audience is just as much to blame because we keep eating what we’re fed. Why risk something original when people will show up opening weekend for “Sequel McReboot: Part Eleventy” and make you half a billion dollars? Everything is so money focused that if we want originality, we have to support it. Hollywood (and media in general) won’t change until the audience does.

If I feel old, then you must feel ancient.

*old person high five

I did a rewatch recently and the iconic theme song isn’t in the streaming version. Always threw off the vibe for the first few minutes after the opening.

Fun fact: The series premier of Married with Children debuted the night before my first day of kindergarten. I feel hella old.

Kinda seems to be a common problem for most of AEW’s “monsters”. I get it, big guy crush little guy, but competitive matches, even if they’re only 3-6 minutes, would be far more interesting.

SAME.

My friend, my brother, my fellow Buckeye, you seem to have an extremely narrow view of what pro wrestling is/should be. From the packed stadiums of Wrestlemania, Wrestle Kingdom and All In, to the crowded little bars of Tokyo, Chicago and even Louisville, wrestling events in addition to wrestlers themselves are in all shapes and sizes. Some of the most fun shows I’ve ever been to happened in literal middle school gyms.

Put it on my tv, beam it straight into my eyeballs.

Spears was fairly regularly featured on AEW television. Most of his time spent “in catering” was actually time he spent at home with his newborn child.

Hook being the final FTW Champion is fitting. Hell of a legacy for Tazz.

Circuit City IIRC

This is Eddie “Kayfabe is dead but let’s not piss on its grave” Kingston we’re talking about.