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The original was posted on /r/bestofredditorupdates by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 on 2024-07-10 04:01:04+00:00.
I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/Accomplished_Bar5656
AITA for suing my parents for my college money.
Originally posted to r/AmItheAsshole & r/AITAH
Thanks to u/Direct-Caterpillar77 and u/Lynavi for the suggestion
Trigger Warnings: financial fraud, favoritism
Original Post: March 16, 2023
My great-aunt set up savings accounts for all of her female relatives. In our culture education for women is not really valued and she thought that was bullshit.
She lived with her father in London where she was educated. She went on to attend university and became a doctor She married a British man, they moved to America and had a great life. She funded the education of as many of her neices and grand neices as she could.
When she passed away she left money for every girl relative she could.
My parents managed to access the accounts that were set up for my sister and I. They used it to pay for my brother’s wedding. My sister didn’t care because she got married two years out of high school and had no intention of going to college.
When I graduated I went to the bank to get money for school and it was almost all gone. There was like $13,000 left.
I asked my parents about it and they said they had needed the money. I finally found out where the money went. I got furious. I got student loans and moved out. I am a great source of shame to them and I don’t give two fucks.
I am currently suing them for the money that was left for me. My entire family is against me. They all think I am a complete asshole for airing private family business in public. And that I am putting money ahead of family. My friends are all on my side but they are all Americans and don’t really get my culture. Neither do I to be honest.
My brother called me up and offered to pay for my university if I drop the lawsuit. I agreed as long as we had a legally binding contract. He said I was being an asshole for not trusting him. I said he should not have accepted my money for his wedding. It is causing all kinds of embarrassment in our community.
I am somewhat ashamed to be doing this but I don’t want to have this debt I should not have.
VERDICT: NOT THE ASSHOLE
Relevant Comments
Timely-Ask-1327: NTA. Your parents didn’t borrow your money. They stole it. I hope you have all the documents to show that money was yours. Your brother is also the AH for trying to get you to drop a lawsuit with what is most likely a lie. If you have a chance to start life without student debt you do whatever you can to do that. Your parents , and I’m sorry but their culture, sound completely toxic. I’m glad you got out.
OOP: The student law center at my university is helping me with everything. I have proof that the money was mine. I am trying to do everything I can so this does not become a criminal matter.
RohMP: NTA how much was stolen?
OOP: Enough that both my sister and I could have finished our undergraduate degrees without debt.
Update 1 year later: July 3, 2024
It’s over. I got my money.
I have also pretty much been disowned by my family but I consider that a win as well.
My parents ended up having to mortgage some property to pay me back for what they stole. My family is embarrassed that I forced them to this point after they had offered to pay me back in installments. Nobody is willing to answer me when I ask what would make my parents pay me back if I was stupid enough to trust them.
I have been told that I will never find a husband from our culture with my belligerent attitude and strident independence. I laughed. I do not want anything to do with that culture except perhaps enjoy the food. I plan on never returning to that country.
I am enjoying the independence I have achieved and am more than happy to know that several other of the young women in my family have taken steps to lock down the education funds left for them.
For those of you that think it is sexist that my great aunt only cared about educating women, please die angry.
Relevant Comments
HeberMonteiro: The only way for this to be a happier ending is if your parents saw the inside of a jail cell for stealing your money.
OOP: That is how we won. My lawyer started asking for documents that would show exactly that and there could have been legal, not just financial, consequences. They agreed to pay me back.
Koopersdad: How much did they take?
OOP: Enough that I could have attended any American college for four years.
melissa3670: I hope that you make so much money with your job after college that you also start a scholarship for the girls in your family. Just make sure the parents can’t get their hands on it.
OOP: My parents commited fraud to get my money. That is how we won.
pretttyyy111: Damn, that’s intense! Glad you got what was rightfully yours, even if it came at a cost. You go!
OOP: I recently read the post by a young man who cut off his family because they forced him to have basically o life during his post secondary education. He said that he was happy to burn those bridges and let the fire light his way. I feel the same.
Agreeable-Candle5830: So it took a whole year? Did you actually have to go to court?
OOP: They dragged it out until my lawyer started to hint that they would be getting the authorities involved.
Yeah, you tell em, OOP!