Hello. For context, I am in a university. I do not have any friends, and it feels like colleagues talk bad about me. This makes me quite hesitant to join any circles or attend seminars. I am not sure it is everyone who thinks bad about me though, I fear about asking. Yet I plan to do research, so I should attend seminars to learn current trends and stuffs. May I ask what I should do in such a situation? Are friends necessary, or not really? Also should I stop being in this environment and get a job instead? Thanks for reading lengthy paragraph, I would love any comments or advice for this.

  • neidu2
    2·
    14 days ago

    What gives you the impression that others are badmouthing you? In cases like this, I have come to realize that it mostly boils down to indifference. People have their own lives and social circles to pay attention to, and as such their interactions with you would be neutral, which can seem cold.

    If the above is the case, you’re not ostracized, you just haven’t found anyone to connect with (yet). I suggest you attend events, and hopefully you’ll get to know someone better.

    • someacnt_@lemmy.worldOP
      2·
      14 days ago

      It comes from that I hear people talking bad about me. Like, saying that I am a freak (or similar).

      • neidu2
        3·
        14 days ago

        Unless you can think of what could’ve caused this, I suggest you attend the seminars. If someone there doesn’t like you just because you’re you, that’s their problem.

        You won’t like everyone you’ll ever meet. And not everyone you meet will like you. And sometimes there will be actual dislike in the mix. It’s just how life is.

        • someacnt_@lemmy.worldOP
          1·
          14 days ago

          Hmm, another person commented here that attending seminar is like outsider acting like an insider. How do you think about it?

          • Maeve@kbin.earth
            2·
            14 days ago

            That’s savage. It’s hard to address an issue if you don’t know what it is. Any ideas?

            People often dislike and fear what they don’t understand. Self-care is really important, regular bathing and other hygiene (you’re worth caring about). Also, walk with head high and shoulders back. Take up space. Use the central sidewalk, central doors. You’re as worthy as anyone. To put it another way, don’t dim your light so others seem brighter. If there are personal thought, word, deed habits that need addressing, be honest with yourself and address them. I don’t know you, so I can’t say.

            • someacnt_@lemmy.worldOP
              4·
              14 days ago

              Thanks! I suspect that it continues from my high school and uni days where I was belittled a lot. The momentum is hard to overcome. That said, that people talking bad about me right now can be an illusion.

              • Maeve@kbin.earth
                2·
                14 days ago

                You’re very welcome. I just glanced at your post history. You’re hella smart. Way smarter than me. I’m sure most of your posts are way over my head, but I think we should stretch for our reach to exceed our grasp. Thus, I’m “following” you. Maybe I’ll learn from you.

                • someacnt_@lemmy.worldOP
                  3·
                  14 days ago

                  Thanks for kind words, I’d say my smartness is just that I took tons of time to learn. You can learn lots of knowledge given time, even math! Tho indeed, not everyone has time for learning, so it is okay to not know something! :)

                  • Maeve@kbin.earth
                    1·
                    14 days ago

                    You’re very welcome. Thank you for your kindness, as well. I look forward to any future interactions.