• allthetimesivedied [they/them, she/her]@hexbear.net
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    4 months ago

    OK kids listen up listen the FUCK UP KIDS YOU IN THE BACK I FUCKED UR MUM.

    I have “died” smoking fetty.

    In junkie/opioid user subculture, when someone OD’s and has to be brought back from that calm edge of everything with Narcan naloxone, we say that they “died.”

    That’s where my username comes from. Someone I care about a lot was talking about all the times they died. It was a conversation about belief in the afterlife—all the times they died there was just, nothing.

    The first time I died, I just blacked out. It’s creepy how blacking out works—until it happens to you, you probably picture it…idk…different. But it’s like someone in real time took a cartoon sized pair or scissors and went snip and suddenly you’re somewhere else, sometime else. It’s not as weird as it happens because at least in my experience, you initially aren’t aware of the skip, because there is no skip, really.

    There was no time to panic. Nothing like that. I just died.

    If I hadn’t woken up, I would have simply forgotten that I ever existed.

    The second time, I asked this dude I was hanging out with for a hit off his foil. I had a death wish. I took a pretty big fucking hit. Everything went s l o w a s I p a s

    And then I was in a dream I don’t remember except for that I thought it was real.

    And then I woke up. He tossed my phone onto my lap and I realized what had happened. The subject was treated very casually. When a friend of mine showed up I told him what happened like it was an accomplishment.

    These stupid cops are having panic attacks because they think fetty is fucking sarin.

    • ඞmir@lemmy.ml
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      4 months ago

      Sounds similar to the times when I fainted. Your timeline is snipped and cut together, without it really “feeling” off. It’s like you press a button and you’re suddenly X minutes further in time, like someone switching from a red LED to a blue LED by flicking a light switch.

      The non-existence of time isn’t at all like a dream, or (probably) a coma. It’s not like a PC going into hibernation mode and getting time to record what is happening and to do restoration bookkeeping on startup. No, it’s as if the time never existed.

      Very difficult to explain as most portrayals in media make it look like “a deep slumber” while that couldn’t be further from what the experience is like.

      • barrbaric [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        4 months ago

        Yeah seconded. Something else weird (might just be a me thing, idk) is that whenever I regained consciousness afterwards it was very gradual, extremely different from sleep. Head comes online first, everything’s dark, feel trembling/maybe seizing in my limbs before everything finally comes to and I realize I’m lying face-down on the floor and my nose hurts. Could’ve also just been concussion symptoms I guess.