Attention all Congress patriots: Vlodymyr Zelensky is in great danger and he needs your help to wipe out the Russians in the Zaporizhzhia Nuclear Plant, but to do this he needs an F-35 Fighter Jet and a couple thousand of artillery shells. To help him, all he needs is your credit card number, the three digits on the back, and the expiration month and year. But, you gotta be quick, so Vlodymyr Zelensky can secure the bag and achieve the epic NATO Membership!!