The Picard Maneuver@lemmy.world to hmmm@lemmy.world · 2 months agohmmmlemmy.worldimagemessage-square26fedilinkarrow-up1308arrow-down114
arrow-up1294arrow-down1imagehmmmlemmy.worldThe Picard Maneuver@lemmy.world to hmmm@lemmy.world · 2 months agomessage-square26fedilink
minus-squaregarbagebagel@lemmy.worldlinkfedilinkarrow-up76·2 months agoIt’s obviously fake, my Lotus SmartToilet only ever requests a face scan to verify my identity.
minus-squareTragicNotCute@lemmy.worldlinkfedilinkEnglisharrow-up65·2 months agoYou gotta enroll in AnusID! The flush times are significantly faster and the probe to verify you only hurts a little.
minus-squaremojofrododojo@lemmy.worldlinkfedilinkEnglisharrow-up26·edit-22 months agoPUCKERPRINT UNRECOGNIZED. SWIPE AGAIN. PUCKER PRINT UNRECOGNIZED. SWIPE AGAIN.
minus-squarecm0002@lemmy.worldlinkfedilinkarrow-up14·2 months ago“I just gotta check your asssshole sir”
minus-square🇰 🔵 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 ℹ️@yiffit.netcakelinkfedilinkEnglisharrow-up5·2 months agoJust like when I go to the local bodega for weed.
minus-squareover_clox@lemmy.worldlinkfedilinkarrow-up5·2 months agoSadly, very relevant… https://www.businessinsider.com/scientists-designed-a-smart-toilet-with-butt-recognition-technology-2020-4
minus-squareUltraMagnus0001@lemmy.worldlinkfedilinkarrow-up2·2 months agoAnal print changed from hemorrhoids.
minus-squarelemmyng@lemmy.calinkfedilinkEnglisharrow-up11·2 months agoIf it was really smart it would scan your butthole.
minus-squareNachorella@lemmy.sdf.orglinkfedilinkarrow-up6·2 months agoI remember reading something about Dali I think getting butthole prints of people and discovering that butthole prints are just as identifying as finger prints.
minus-square7U5K3N@lemmy.dbzer0.comlinkfedilinkarrow-up2·2 months agoHuh… I never thought about it. But that makes a lot of sense.
minus-squaregarbagebagel@lemmy.worldlinkfedilinkarrow-up6·edit-22 months agoI thought we were all joking here but what the fuck: Stanford’s new ‘smart toilet’ will check out your anus Full article from Stanford: https://med.stanford.edu/news/all-news/2020/04/smart-toilet-monitors-for-signs-of-disease.html
minus-squareover_clox@lemmy.worldlinkfedilinkarrow-up2·2 months agoDamn, I heard about that a couple years ago and just looked it up again… https://www.businessinsider.com/scientists-designed-a-smart-toilet-with-butt-recognition-technology-2020-4
minus-squareAwkwardLookMonkeyPuppet@lemmy.worldlinkfedilinkEnglisharrow-up5·2 months agoPlease scan your genitals and a copy of your government issued identification to verify your identity.
It’s obviously fake, my Lotus SmartToilet only ever requests a face scan to verify my identity.
You gotta enroll in AnusID! The flush times are significantly faster and the probe to verify you only hurts a little.
PUCKERPRINT UNRECOGNIZED. SWIPE AGAIN. PUCKER PRINT UNRECOGNIZED. SWIPE AGAIN.
“I just gotta check your asssshole sir”
Just like when I go to the local bodega for weed.
Sadly, very relevant…
https://www.businessinsider.com/scientists-designed-a-smart-toilet-with-butt-recognition-technology-2020-4
Anal print changed from hemorrhoids.
If it was really smart it would scan your butthole.
I remember reading something about Dali I think getting butthole prints of people and discovering that butthole prints are just as identifying as finger prints.
Huh… I never thought about it. But that makes a lot of sense.
I thought we were all joking here but what the fuck: Stanford’s new ‘smart toilet’ will check out your anus
Full article from Stanford: https://med.stanford.edu/news/all-news/2020/04/smart-toilet-monitors-for-signs-of-disease.html
Damn, I heard about that a couple years ago and just looked it up again…
https://www.businessinsider.com/scientists-designed-a-smart-toilet-with-butt-recognition-technology-2020-4
Please scan your genitals and a copy of your government issued identification to verify your identity.