I remember Donald trump going to a McDonalds in east Palestine, Ohio and announcing that he’d buy a big macs for everyone in the McDonalds to applause, then buying a big Mac for himself and no one else and leaving

I remember Ruth Bader Ginsburg officiating the wedding of two major DNC donors who basically hit the “you donated X amount so you can force a Supreme Court Justice to sing and dance for you” threshold.

They wanted to show the whole world how special they were, having The Notorious RBG officiate their wedding. That’s how official a wedding it was.

And then she contracted a virus at the wedding and died of it.

I remember Katie Couric quietly admitting she had to cut out a lot of her interview with Ruth Bader Ginsburg, because RBG was being shockingly racist and Katie “didn’t want to tarnish the idea of her.”

I remember Kevin Spacey getting fired from House of Cards after getting outed as a rapist, and then he released a video of him, in character as Frank Underwood, vaguely threatening the House of Windsor if his demands weren’t met.

I remember thinking it was the most “only happens in Bojack Horseman” level of crazy I’ve ever seen in an actor.

And then Jeffrey Epstein was killed.

And then all of Kevin Spacey’s accusers were killed.

I remember Rachael Maddow insisting in no uncertain terms that Trump was America’s Hitler, and then she wished him a speedy recovery when he caught Covid.

I remember Michelle Obama and George W Bush being close buddies at John McCain’s funeral, giving each other candies and hugging each other fondly. “Oh yes,” says Michelle, “I’m his partner in crime.” Her husband ran his first presidential campaign promising to charge Bush with war crimes.

I remember Kamala Harris making an impassioned argument that Bidens history of racism and support of segregationists made him unfit to be president. I also remember when she later pivoted to support him she said that it was just a debate.

I remember Ghislaine Maxwell going missing after a warrant was put out for her, and then a photo of her at an In-n-Out was posted on Twitter, where she’s holding a book called “The Secret Lives and Deaths of CIA Operatives”. The same day, the entire nationwide system that monitors flight risks for air travel was down - the system that would have flagged Ghislaine as having a warrant out for her arrest, the same system that her twin sisters own and contract to the US government…

I spent so long assuming she either fled the country or would turn up in an oil drum somewhere. But it turns out she was just laying low at some friend’s fishing retreat in Maine.

I remember Sean Spicer literally hiding behind some shrubs to avoid taking questions from the press, even though they were only asking questions like “Isn’t the President using the Lincoln Ballroom for a Daughters of the Confederacy reunion a bit uncouth???”

I remember the biggest mass shooting that’s ever happened in the US, the Vegas shooting, having a baffling number of suspicious details … the Saudi prince, the shooter’s private plane having once been owned by the CIA, the reports of gunfire on the tarmac as if the shooter (or someone) was trying to stop someone from leaving by plane, the really inconsistent reports from the Vegas Police and the hotel security guards … and then one of the security guards was brought onto Ellen, where they had a full sized 3D replica of the hotel floor so they could walk through the official story one more time for the audience, and Ellen was really insistent on clarifying the official story that definitely proves it was just one guy and nothing nefarious happened in a casino with Ellen-brand slot machines.

That security guard moved to Mexico shortly after that Ellen episode was filmed.

That whole event got memory holed so fast…

I remember Scaramucci missing the birth of his first-born child so he could take an unpaid internship at the White House, which he’d be fired from a week later.

They didn’t get it on video, but there is photos of this:

Pete Butt tried to do a photo op with Al Sharpton. Pete’s team picked the most stereotypical black soul food restaurant they could find. They sit down and Pete orders fried chicken, collared greens, and mac. Al ordered tea and toast.

I remember Elizabeth Warren taking Trump up on his challenge to take a 23-And-Me test, to prove whether or not she was part Native American as she had been insisting for decades. The test results showed she actually had less of the blood quanta that signifies North American indigenous ancestors than the average population would in general.

She has a published cookbook called “Pow Wow Chow.”

I remember the 9/11 episode of Well There’s Your Problem where Ruth Bader Ginsburg died in the middle of their mid-recording break, and when Justin is the last one to hear the news he just starts cackling maniacally, like actual instant jokerfication in real time. Still my favorite episode.

I remember Hillary Clinton pulling out a tiny bottle of hot sauce from her purse to prove her street cred.