Indeed, the whole paper straw thing is ridiculous. But let’s not forget that poor sea turtle that they pulled a plastic straw out of its nose. Yeah, that was a random one-off, not very likely to happen again anytime soon. If anything, they need to be more worried about fish, dolphins and turtles getting hung up in lost fishing nets…

Back to the stupid straw thing, someone on that other site that we don’t tend to speak of mentioned a perfect solution. Use a Twizzler candy, they’re hollow and edible once you’re done!