• Dharma Curious (he/him)@slrpnk.netEnglish
    104·
    2 months ago

    Once gave a ride to a dude on Grindr that was leaving his abusive husband at 4am for similar reasons, didn’t know the neighbors, didn’t trust they wouldn’t be violently anti gay.

    Another time I was broke down on the side of the road and a dude came and hung out with me in freezing weather until the wrecker got there.

    One other time I was broke down in a city an hour from home in a blizzard (I’ve had a lot of shitty cars) and a dude got me a hotel room for the night, no strings.

    Grindr, and the gay community in general, can sometimes be really great places

    • AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.netEnglish
      27·
      2 months ago

      This is only tangentially related, but in university, I became acquainted with the party gays, which meant I went to a few parties where there was plenty of drug use going on. I remember being initially very intimidated by this, but then realising how actually, I felt way less pressured to do anything than I would’ve done on a “regular” night out, with my mostly straight friend group. Additionally, I felt like people who I barely knew had my back, regardless of what intoxicants I may or may not have been partaking in on a given night.

      Don’t get me wrong, this kind of atmosphere can be one of the most pernicious aspects of the LGBTQ community, especially because the wider context of things acts as pressure in and of itself. However, I was blown away by the sheer wholesomeness I experienced in settings where I wouldn’t have expected to find it (especially when I started university, shy and semi-closeted as I was).

      • Dharma Curious (he/him)@slrpnk.netEnglish
        9·
        2 months ago

        The party gays can be super cool. They’ll hook you up if you’re into it, and just appreciate the trip sitter/designated driver if not. Haha