The only thing you can find online is usually catering to rich western tourists or “expats” and usually boils down to “Which place is the most western/ High GDP and McDonalds!” so I’d rather get an opinion from someone that’s been there that isn’t a business tourist.
I’ve only been to Chengdu, which I thought was fantastic. Weather seemed decent, has excellent food, beautiful natural scenery nearby, amazing museums/history, pandas, Sichuan opera, extremely friendly people, and it also has a reputation for being the gayest city in China:
A healthy work/life balance is a signature of the Chengdunese; and that laid-back approach is present in every aspect of life there—including social mores. It confers on the locals a reputation for tolerance that has helped its LGBTQ+ population feel more comfortable being open and out. “It’s the lifestyle here—people don’t work so hard, they’re outdoors all the time,” says Kurt Macher, the openly gay general manager of the Temple House. “People look at you here, they smile and they don’t care. I see many gay Chinese couples walking down by the river, hand in hand, and I’ve never seen that in Beijing, Shanghai, or even in Hong Kong.”
Also, while I think it is a tourist hub for people in China (especially the panda research center), I saw no other westerners the whole time I was there, so you’re unlikely to see anything specifically catering to expats like you described.
Chengdu is also great. Best food in the country. Very developed, a good look at a modern chinese megacity outside of SH/BJ/SZ/GZ.
Gaiwancha in people’s park face-changing show and sichuan opera pink little panda babies at the resarch base
Idk, but I love watching a YouTube channel called Little Chinese Everywhere. By a Chinese woman who is on her way to making videos of every single province in China. She goes into homes of locals like every episode. Asks them about life there. Sometimes multiple homes. Crazy levels of hospitality in many total strangers. I’m American and it made my bf cry because we deeply feel like these are our people. Maybe her channel will inspire your choice making. It certainly makes me want to move to China.
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Proud Cantonese here. Come to Guangzhou! We welcome everyone and it’s always hospitable all year round, not to mention we are pretty close to Hong Kong. Guangzhou is a chill city with pretty laid back people, with a unique Yum cha culture (lit. “drink tea”). Unlike Shenzhen, which is modern but soulless because it feels like a big company conglomerate - everybody goes to there for work (including me).
Other nice cities to live in including Lijiang: stunning scenery, good & unique food, etc., Suzhou: a laid back city with a rich culture and very comfortable weather, and Chengdu: another welcoming city with an open (compared to the rest of the China) culture.