I used to be uselessly self critical, and learning how to make art in a social setting - receiving constructive but sometimes difficult critique taught me how to use it to better myself, and how to discern attack from constructive crit.

It can still hurt, but there’s a certain feeling to useful criticism that’s constructive.

At this point when it’s harmful or unhelpful criticism or attack I just don’t hold back. I’m transfemme and I’m at a point where I’m ready to fight at anybody dumb enough to disrespect me about it. I get loud and confrontational, and because I feel justified and within catharsis, the feelings relating to the attack itself don’t hurt as much, they don’t stay with me or ruin my day. I stood up for myself, I make it hurt to do that.

Some people might call that unhealthy but this isn’t a normal thing for me, and to me if you’re out there hurting people verbally or otherwise, you have it coming.

I’m white though, I am navigating life as non passing transfemme, but whiteness goes a long way in a racist society to letting me get away with attitudes that might be more dangerous for other folks, I can’t speak to that struggle first hand and i wont try.

The best self-help is the self-attack