I like being able to spend literal hours focused on one thing. It makes the time I’m able to be productive longer.
Right now the worst part for me is the rejection sensitivity, especially trying to be active in a brand new place.
I like being able to spend literal hours focused on one thing. It makes the time I’m able to be productive longer.
Right now the worst part for me is the rejection sensitivity, especially trying to be active in a brand new place.
That does sound great! My partner understands better than most but not completely, so we still have the occasional miscommunication.
I feel that second part. My confidence is higher than it’s ever been. For months I’ve been scared I will lose it, but I realized that if it got there once, it can again. Don’t lose heart. You know you are capable of feeling it. It’s hard to literally reverse your thinking. You didn’t raise your confidence, it’s just lower than normal right now. Your baseline shouldn’t be where you are now, but where you want it to be.
I think the trick I have used is, if it’s confidence in a specific thing, try to step back from that thing and do something you know for sure you can. Take baking for example. Say you have gotten good at baking bread but you mess one up. Confidence lost. Step back, bake a pie instead. Then a cake. Then tackle the bread again. Hopefully you get the idea.
We have our arguments as well but we’ve gotten a lot better at arguing, now we can sort of pull back and express how we feel about the issue, not that the other person must be wrong for disagreeing.
And you’re right, I would’ve had a lot bigger dent on that confidence before and now instead of wallowing in it for ages I’ve grown angry cause I know I’ve not been treated right.
I’ve slowly built up confidence working with people and being more social and felt like my feelings and opinions were respected, but then had them outright ignored. I don’t know if I’m still bitter thinking that a coworker I thought of as a friend is less so a friend but at the same time it’s given me a push to apply for jobs higher up in my career since I don’t need to feel like I’m leaving my friends behind. I’ve been thinking I need another year before I’d feel confident enough to train to be a nurse rather than a carer but I might just find out if I can start sooner.
It’s an odd realization that the “deep bond” other people have with others is more like an acquaintance to us. We both use the same words to describe our friends, but mean very different things by it.
I fully believe this one fact is why we have so many problems with people we deem friends. They don’t have the same actual connection to us we have with them, so the things they do to us don’t mean the same thing. Brushing off an acquaintance is no big deal for either party, which is where they come from. For us though, a friend is being unacceptable.