Queensland Health lauded for social media campaign and raising awareness of the dangers of ‘holding it in’
  • cygnus@lemmy.caEnglish
    492·
    2 months ago

    I guess Aussies aren’t familiar with “Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime; that’s why I poop on company time”

    • Glytch@lemmy.worldEnglish
      12·
      2 months ago

      Stolen from reddit:

      The boss makes a dollar, I make a dime That was a poem From a simpler time

      Now his boss makes 1000 While I make a cent And he’s got employees That can’t make the rent

      When the CEO makes a million And we don’t make jack That’s when we riot To take it all back

      Now Mr investor If this seems extreme I have to remind you It beats guillotines

  • Frog@lemmy.caEnglish
    26·
    2 months ago

    Tomorrow’s news: Amazon sues the Australian Health Department

    • palordrolap@fedia.io
      14·
      2 months ago

      Nah, they’ll just make life more difficult for any employees who take bathroom breaks, if not find some “clearly unrelated” excuse to outright fire them.

  • TedZanzibar@feddit.ukEnglish
    16·
    2 months ago

    Back in the 2000s I used to have an app on my PC where I could enter my salary or hourly wage, hit a button when I went for a poop, hit it again when I got back and it would tell me how much I’d earned on the can.

    Wonder if there’s anything like that for phones these days?

    • Buddahriffic@lemmy.worldEnglish
      7·
      2 months ago

      If you want to set up a spreadsheet, the formulas are pretty simple:

      Salary / 52 = weekly pay (approx, there’s a few extra days in the year but my bi-weekly pay is salary / 26, which actually works out to a slightly higher pay than if they did it by extact days)

      Weekly pay / 40 = hourly equivalent (or 37.5 if you want to assume unpaid lunches, which effectively increases your hourly rate)

      Hourly equivalent / 60 = minute equivalent

      Time in minutes pooping * hourly equivalent = money earned pooping

      For hourly pay, just drop that in to the hourly equivalent variable above.

      • TedZanzibar@feddit.ukEnglish
        6·
        2 months ago

        Nice! I’m learning Python right now so I’m going to take this and make a script out of it.

        • Buddahriffic@lemmy.worldEnglish
          9·
          2 months ago

          Yeah, that script should only take a few days, most of which spent on creating an ascii pooping animation while it’s waiting for you to return.

  • paddirn@lemmy.worldEnglish
    183·
    2 months ago

    The only things I don’t like about pooping at work is when there’s no private restrooms or when they don’t have some sort of white noise in the bathrooms (in the case of public restrooms). Inevitably, there’s people who don’t care about shitting in the stall next to mine, which I absolutely hate, I don’t want to hear you shit. I only want to shit when nobody else is around or when the sound of a fan or something blocks out the noise. It’s like some sort of instinctual feeling. Otherwise, pooping at work is great.

    • TimeSquirrel@kbin.melroy.org
      17·
      2 months ago

      when they don’t have some sort of white noise in the bathrooms

      Would it help if I sat next to you going “shhhhhhhhhh” as we poop together?

    • TheTetrapod@lemmy.worldEnglish
      11·
      2 months ago

      Am I the only one who finds this kind of wild? You’re in the shit room, you shouldn’t expect others to be ashamed of their bowel movements there. Get earplugs, I guess?

    • reddig33@lemmy.worldEnglish
      8·
      2 months ago

      The worst is when people talk on their cell phones in the public restroom. No one wants to hear that on either end of the phone.

  • calcopiritus@lemmy.worldEnglish
    4·
    2 months ago

    I poo almost daily at work. It’s almost impossible to hold it in for 8:30 continuous hours.

    If someone tells me off for it, they will find out how much my productivity drops when I have to focus on holding the shit instead of doing my work.

    Poo in work. Not only is it a nice break, but it also is more productive than not pooing. Win-win for everyone.

  • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldMEnglish
    51·
    2 months ago

    Yeah, but the assholes I have to work with poo there. I can’t deal with that.

    Thankfully, I can usually get it all out right after I get up.

    • lnxtxEnglish
      2·
      2 months ago

      If you can resist the pressure and still be concentrated, sure.