In light of recent events and confusion, I think we would all benefit from having a single, concise definition for the word tankie. Here are my suggestions:

• Someone who believes that violence has a proper use and that that use isn’t “getting bananas for my tum tum”

• Some dumbass Kremlin bot who thinks that Russia is a country rather than an actual duchy of hell

• A Neo-Shermanist

• A fascist in every way, except the ones that matter and also the other ones

• A hysterical CCP bot who lacks our sensible, rules-based policy of zero-tolerance for the Chinese

• A MAGAt who thinks that Drumpf was neither the beginning nor the end of our problems, and who thinks it’s funny - FUNNY, I SAY - that we’re so caught up on him

• A non-conservative who is mean to me about my opinions

• Mom, systematically repressing me with a fascist so-called bedtime 😡