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The original was posted on /r/bestofredditorupdates by /u/Sebastianlim on 2024-09-18 20:41:15+00:00.

**I am NOT OP. The OP of this story is u/ThrowRACheatingParty.**

Trigger Warnings: Sexual Assault, Victim Blaming, Accusations of Infidelity.

My (F25) Boyfriend (M28) cheated on me while drunk at a bachelor party and still having admitted to it. Should I just end things with him?, August 21st, 2024.

My (F25) boyfriend (M28) have been dating for about 3 years, and we currently live together. He has a brother (M31) who is getting married very soon.

He is his brother’s best man and of course was invited to his bachelor party. It is ok since I get along well with his brother and I’m invited to the bride’s bachelorette party that will be later this week.

Everything was ok, but like at 2 AM my phone started ringing, and got a lot of messages. When I went to see what was it, I saw that one of the guys at the party took my boyfriend’s phone and was sending me images and videos in real time of him having sex with a naked woman. He looked half dead and fainted while the woman was moving so aggressively on top of him and the other guys were cheering, throwing alcohol and doing other crazy things. The guy who took the phone was screaming “YOUR BOY IS HAVING SO MUCH FUN RIGHT NOW”. I tried to see what was going on and one of the first videos showed him receiving a lapdance from this girl while visibly drunk but very much awake.

He kept sending me stuffs but I was so upset that blocked my boyfriend’s number so they couldn’t send me anything else.

I tried calling his brother but didn’t pick it up. Then I tried calling his dad (who wasn’t at the party but I thought could help) but didn’t pick up either.

I just cried for the rest of the night until I just fell asleep again.

Then his friends brought him back home around 11 AM, they had to help him walk, and after I opened the door they left him at the sofa and left. He just slept in the sofa and said nothing and woke up at 4 PM with a hangover and not remembering when he came back home. His phone was missing and he had no idea who could have it.

We had barely spoken and I haven’t mentioned the infidelity yet because, I’m expecting him to be the first one to bring that up. But it’s been 2 days and there is just silence and he looked kinda scared. Maybe he knows his friends told me and shown me everything and knows our relationship is over? Idk if it is really over, but this is his fault and I don’t want to be the first one to say the obvious. I need some help on how to much forward. I don’t know if I should tell the bride what happened at the party.

TLDR; My boyfriend went on a Bachelor party and in the middle of the night someone sent videos and images to my phone from his of him having sex with a woman while he was drunk. It’s been 2 days and we still haven’t spoken about his infidelity and I think my relationship might be over.

Relevant Comment:

Does that honestly sound consensual to you???

What do you mean? He was having sex with her, dick hard and deep inside her. He is very vocal about what he wants or not to do, I think he did it because he wanted it and then got too drunk, otherwise would have stopped it earlier.

Not to digress but I think a background of how well you know his circle, would be very useful. By the time you’re making the big step, you should know about his crazy friends (or lack thereof) and the dymamics therein, and he should know yours too. I’m not blaming you nor giving him, his brother + his friends a pass for what happened, but it seems you are oblivious to how wild these guys can be when they get together.

“The guy who took the phone was screaming YOUR BOY IS HAVING SO MUCH FUN RIGHT NOW” I think it’s safe to conclude that the friends (or at least the person sending the videos) was told or assumed that you permitted any shenanigans that may happen at that bachelor party; we can argue about how insane it was for them to believe whoever told them that, but we should acknowledge that unless sending you the videos was to jeopardize your relationship, the person sending the videos didn’t see any harm in sending the videos. Again, that’s a crazy thing for anyone to think, so it’s back to how well do you know his circle? (Sounds like a bunch of airheads at least, even if you permitted the lewdness for one night, why send you footage of that?)

All that aside, I strongly suggest you first speak to his friend that sent you the messages, before you confront your BF. In your discussion with this person, inquire about who it was that okayed the naked woman, the intercourse and what was said about your approval (or if they or your BF cared). I caution you to not speak in the context of anger but inquiry, you have every right to flip out but that’ll only have his friend hold back important information as to how/why all this happened. Otherwise, the company we keep is a reflection/manifestation of who we are, unless under deception, nobody is around people that they shouldn’t be with. This situation will reveal to you about who you’re about to spend the rest of your life with, if you smartly inquire…

I know him and his brother are still close with his college friends and they were wild and funny in college but then most of them settled down.

AITAH for not believing my ExBF story about what happened at his brother’s bachelor party and telling the bride?, Posted August 28th, 2024.

Hello Reddit. I (F25) had a boyfriend (M28) until some days ago.

I’ve told this story like too many times irl already and I’m tired so I’m gonna be quick. He went to his brother’s bachelor party. I though it was going to be ok since his family and friends where there. Until around 2 AM where I started getting messages on my phone, someone took his phone and was sending me videos and photos of him having sex with a woman. The guy who took his phone even said “Look how much fun your boy is having”.

Then they brought him home the next morning and he slept till the afternoon, not remembering anything.

After 2 days of silence I confronted him about what happened, he said that didn’t really know. I showed him the videos I was sent from his phone by someone else. He looked horrified and said was almost basically unconscious. The problem is that he is clearly hard and I have a hard time believing it could be so hard while drunk, so I told him he wasn’t telling me the full story.

He said that they were drinking, they brought that girl so make the party funnier for the guys, and next thing he remembers wakes up at him in the sofa.

When he gets drunk, his body looses strength and then falls asleep, so he being hard is what makes me not believe him.

We had an argument, he was crying and saying wouldn’t cheat on me on purpose, but his story had so many holes I couldn’t take it. He begged me to believe him but I had way too many videos of him having sex with a random woman to even look at him in the eye, so I left and went to my sister’s place.

I then phoned the bride to tell her what happened at the party. Next thing is so many of the guys at the party had a lot of explaining to do and the wedding ended up with half of the initial guest list attending.

My ex brother has berated me for ruining his wedding and i’ve been told that my ex is way too depressed because of what happened, and he blames himself, i’ve been told that I’ve destroyed him, but I can’t stop thinking about the videos and imagining the other woman jumping on him while the guys cheered. So I wonder if I’m the asshole in this whole situation. I’m just feeling terrible for everything.

edit: about what everyone is saying happened to my ex, I address that on a post on my profile, I think is too hard to talk it right here.

Also the wedding already happened, ended up with way less guests that they expected because many people said they wouldn’t go after hearing what happened at the party, the bride wanted to postpone it but they couldn’t get refunds on anything so they did the wedding more or less as they planned. The bride’s bachelorette party also happened, I was invited but didn’t go. Of course I didn’t go to the wedding. I’m in good terms with the bride but her new husband says I ruined everything.

Relevant Comments:

Why would a third party record that? Why would a third party send that to his partner? How would they know which number was his partner’s? How did they access his phone?

There are things that I still don’t know but he was a brother’s friend that I didn’t know and he was helped by others. My ex never had a password or pin or any lock on his phone. My number was always pinned on top. I still don’t know who the idea was.

About my ex “rape”, Posted August 30th, 2024.

Ok IDK where I could post this so I’m doing it on my profile.

Soooo many people on my previous posts has repeated over and over that my ex was raped, but I still don’t understand it.

Yes he looked like was unconscious at the party and in the videos, but seriously, is the being hard part that keeps me wondering.

Some has said viagra migh…

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