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The original was posted on /r/legalcatadvice by /u/MACKAWICIOUS on 2024-11-14 14:54:12+00:00.

Yesterday, momma took me to de pokey place. She wakes me up from a nice warm nap and made me go oot in de cold.

Fangkfully, no one touched mi borthole. I did get 1 shot but I got squeezy cheez fur mi troubles.

But den dey tried to steel mi bloodz! So I did big crimez and constricted all mi bloodz so dey couldn’t get any. I fink I’m so smurt and they let boing go with all bloodz intact but no they roll mees over and POKE AGAIN! OUTRAGE!

So, I let mi bloodz out but vewwy slowly to punish dem. And I do a cry so momma knows how much it hurted.

They want my pees too! They gave momma special litter fur mes but I refoose to go.

They can take mi bloodz but dey can neber takes mi freedums!

GO CRIMEZ!

~boing