• ryedaft@sh.itjust.works
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    15 hours ago

    Can women message people on Tinder they haven’t matched with?

    And if this was effective wouldn’t it lower all women’s Elo scores? Unless he only ignored one group and catfished everybody else. Sounds like a lot of work.

    • dai@lemmy.world
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      2 hours ago

      No, only tinder premium can do so IIRC.

      Bumble? From memory women can only message first, men must wait to be messaged before they can.

      It’s been a while since I used those platforms so my information could be incorrect.

        • I Cast Fist@programming.dev
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          24 minutes ago

          As a man who would often get matches but rarely get so much as a “hi” to allow the conversation to start (i’d say only 1/8 of the matches would say anything in the 24h), I really wonder why. A number of women apparently never read that they were supposed to send a message first when using bumble (I did hear that more than once on the app), but others? Why?

          • Buglefingers@lemmy.world
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            3 minutes ago

            Well, although I’m not so sure about bumble, I know women on tinder have a volume problem, a few friends have shown me the number of matches and current conversations and wow, it’s actually absurd. I could not maintain that many interactions either. So perhaps if not an issue with formulating an opener there’s just too many matches to reasonably get through them?

            That makes me actually wonder if a match limit would be a worthwhile feature on some of these. Just a stray shower thought

        • Cethin@lemmy.zip
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          58 minutes ago

          Yeah, the old Bumble model was better (in my opinion as a man). It creates incentive to have an interesting profile with stuff people can comment on. The newer “opening move” thing incentivizes generic responses. Bumble (in my experience) still has women message first far more often than Tinder though. You may just have to wait and not message immediately.

          Creating an opening message is only really difficult if someone has a generic boring profile, so if it’s an issue for anyone maybe that’s why.

          • Buglefingers@lemmy.world
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            14 minutes ago

            I agree it was a better model. I’ve never found it easy to begin a conversation even with someone who has a good profile. I just struggle with the formulation of an opener. Way easier in person IMO, though a good profile makes a conversation continuation much easier.

          • Buglefingers@lemmy.world
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            57 minutes ago

            Yeah, pretty much haha, otherwise its just tinder. I used it briefly a while back and usually the first message would be “.” so that I could start the actual conversation. So I supposed it’s never been all that different to begin with