There’s been so many new laws passed across the US (and some other countries world wide as well), that makes it feel like even visiting another area is unsafe. I feel like I can’t go anywhere without feeling like the entire state is out to get me.
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I’m in the US, and my family was fortunate to be able to move states. I’m still worried what will happen with the next US presidential election and whether we’ll have to flee the country. There was a news article recently that told the story of a trans child whose family was also moving. I found out they lived in my old neighborhood :( I am angry and scared and sad for these kids.
Meanwhile, everyone I know who is not queer is very dismissive when I try and talk about this stuff. They either accuse me of exaggerating, or assure me it will never get worse (worse? than what? literally having to move? people being denied healthcare? emergency care?).
I also have a lot of anxiety being around kids. Because of all the stupid propaganda about queer people being groomers, I feel like someone’s going to accuse me of something, but I’m an anxious person to begin with.
I’m also afraid to travel to “red states” (something that doesn’t actually exist). It might help you to know that I recently did, and everyone was friendly.
I think the real tragedy here is that most people are supportive of queer people, but there’s this tiny group of people shouting really loudly and making it seem like the world’s out to get us.
And for the record, I’m not letting these people prevent me from doing the things I want to do. That’s what they want.
Staying out of red states like crazy.
Every time I hear about rights being taken away I become more bold about my queerness.
Same with my straight cis partner. He actually begged me to paint a trans flag on his banjo because the main online banjo forum was being anti-trans and he was like “Well I don’t want people in public thinking I’m a bigot just because I play banjo”
Granted we’re a straight passing Canadian couple so these new anti-trans laws haven’t directly affected us but he’s wholeheartedly an ally and I’ve identified as bi for as long as I can remember so we do what we can to push back against anti lgbt (or generally bigoted) behaviour.
Mean its not the only thing thats contributing to having me feel that way, but I am feeling pretty burnt out and I’m kind of just going through the motions at this point. Bit of a nasty feedback loop of lack of energy/motivation/whatever that leads me to not do much beyond the same bleh stuff.
Know its not a good way to be but its pretty much all I can really do at the moment :v
I live in the only city in the world with an official transgender district, so I’m sitting in a place of extreme privilege. I’ve been pushing on my organization to do better- I’ve increased access to transgender healthcare for our employees and their children. I’ve hired out of state queers to come give talks so I can help financially support where I can. I’m even giving talks about diversity and equity now. I support local queers by going to their establishments and seeking out queer and trans artists to support wherever I can. I offer up my knowledge when I can through a variety of trans communities I participate in. I wish I could do more, but I’m happy doing what I can.
What city has a transgender district?? A part of me really loves the idea of that, but I also get worried about segregation. What is it like to live there??
San Francisco. It’s not segregated and trans people don’t have to live there, it’s just a recognition and celebration of trans people. They have a bunch of local government officials who do trans stuff like educationals, put on trans artists, work on improving healthcare and other issues for trans people, etc.
That’s incredible!! I live in SoCal (the high desert, blegh) and planned on making a trip to San Francisco later this summer. Is there anything specific you would recommend a trans woman visiting your city?
There’s a little trans art gallery called liminal space that you might want to check out. Past that just the typical SF stuff - check out Castro, glbt museum, hit up mission Dolores Park, etc.
What kinda city stuff do you like? Hikes? Beach? Museums? Food? More direction and I can provide recs
I’m actually staying put in this increasingly hostile state because I still think, maybe naively, hearts and minds can still be won over, and I’m not going to let the obnoxiously loud minority bully me out of the community I’ve implanted myself into that I now call home. There’s a sizeful amount of us out here doing so.
Granted, I’m speaking from a point of privilege where I have access to out of state inclusive medical care from my employer, and social & financial mobility if things got extremely messy - I totally understand if you need to escape and do what’s best for you, especially rights/medical wise. But I’m taking this privilege, staking my flag in the ground, and being out and proud & show that I’m not going to be deterred.
As someone who moved out of TN, seriously, good for you, and I’m glad to see you being reasonable - I’ve caught so much flak for moving out from other queer people.
That’s both frustrating and appalling. This is a “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” situation, because I can’t even remember how many times I’ve seen the sentiment that “oh the conservative states have made their bed, let them sleep in it” without regard for the members of the queer community who still live there. Sometimes, that’s even followed up with “just move out” when those members are brought up, completely disregarding whether that’s even possible on a financial or emotional level. Every situation is different, and there is no correct answer. The best we can do is support people who are making decisions in good faith, as long as those decisions don’t harm others.
I’ve heard the flak you’re talking about with similar discourse here in FL - I’m sorry to hear you had to go through that to what I bet was already a tough decision and/or move. Unfortunately there’s so much judgment in what is already a marginalized community!! But I think everyone should do what feels right for them and what they can do in the current moment - I sincerely hope you are in a much better spot where you are now!
Oh yeah. Seriously, I love New York. Great weather, the people are nicer, my in-laws have no idea where we are…
It kinda sucked moving out of Memphis. We’d lived there for the better part of a decade. I have ties to the tech community there.
Between Manhattanites and the upstate weirdos… I’m not sure that’s an upgrade (jk :P)
Yeah, I get missing the place you had roots in; I moved to the States and thought bigger country = bigger opportunities to connect and grow, but it still doesn’t fully replace what you leave behind! But you do what you have to do, and you make the best of it, and ultimately you find make new ties to compliment the old ones :)
Well, that’s why I’m in WNY now, duh :)
I think the most insane thing is that I bought this house without once stepping foot in it before closing day. We had a seriously incredible realtor. We’re hoping to make some friends. At least we have a big kitchen and the dog has a back yard.
Oh stop! That house sounds gorgeous and you’re making us all jealous!
Trying NOT to think about it, and failing real hard. The overwhelming sense of dread as things seem to keep getting worse little by little, has me trying to speedrun my transition so as much gets covered by insurance before 2024 comes around, because I’m afraid of what the US will be in 2025 lmao…
I bounce between being angrily out and worried about the safety of my family. I’m not worried so much about the politicians here in Canada, I don’t believe that the the alt right rhetoric will win them government, but I do worry about the nutjobs they will inspire to act out violently.
I noticed this year that while my town was drowning in rainbows this time last year, there are maybe 2 or 3 on businesses and I haven’t seen one on houses this year.
So, sadly, m’husband and I have agreed that there will be no Pride flag on the house this year and we’ll walk the pride march with a careful eye on the protesters who will turn up.
I don’t believe that the the alt right rhetoric will win them government
As an Albertan I have to disagree, unfortunately.
It wasn’t long ago that gays and Jews were gassed and burned in Germany. When people fight fascism, racism and homophobia, it’s not fair to turn around and say “look there was nothing to worry about”.
That’s like vaccinating, never getting sick and claiming the disease never existed.
getting the hell out of here and headed to protected states. if they don’t want us then i don’t want to be here.
Yeah, I just moved from Tennessee to New York. Look, there’s stuff wrong with every state, but at least NY isn’t going to try to kill me or invalidate my marriage.
right? we don’t deserve the hassle. i know some of us can’t flee to other states right now but hey, if most of us move to protected states then we’ll be able to show that we’re not a small number. we’ll have little havens of sensibility and not have to worry about garbage “trans boogeyman” rhetoric
Yep. I’m so sick of hearing people say we should stay in the places that want to kill us because we need to vote to improve things. Like… no, how about for once the so-called allies put their money where their mouths are and fight like we’ve had to?
thank you. my florida friends are banking on someone to stop the anti-trans laws down there and i keep telling them that no one is speaking up for us. they want so badly for trans people to get the hell out of the state and it will be so easy for them because we’re such a small, spread percentage of people. i hope we can all stay safe and keep coming out and growing a bit as a group because this is clearly a fight by ourselves. stonewall riots were started by trans women, but where is everybody now to help us?
Seriously, we’ve all fought for so long. Why is it on us, the group with effectively no power, to protect us here? It is the duty of the strong (allies with actual power) to protect the weak (the LGBT community).
NY is pretty great so far. Weather is way nicer.
you’d think :/
happy for you 💙 i’ve never been to new york but with such a diverse mix of people i’m sure it will be refreshing to leave some of those old timey prejudices in the dust
I just went Friday to submit my name change court order to the DPS in Texas for a new Driver’s license, and all the people there seemed to be perfectly nice.
I don’t necessarily like it here, but moving is hard, especially when I have a job I like here that’s not entirely remote just yet. If my building ever shuts down and I go to full remote work (possibly planned within 1-2 years at a company level), then I’ll probably move somewhere more LGBT-friendly.
I’m trying my best to push back against the hatred within my area and community. I do foresee myself needing to leave eventually, but we will see. I think it’s likely parts of my state will essentially break off if things go off the wall hard enough though.
I’m so scared… Luckily I’m safe in Utah for a bit. Got a plan to move back home to Oregon in the next year or two
I live in Florida, and I have no current plans to leave.
I’m lucky/privileged that the current set of laws don’t affect me directly (or at least significantly), so I intend to stay as long as I can, so i can continue to protest and bring attention to these issues
I understand that things are fucked right now. If anyone feels they need to leave, i fully support them to do so. (Many of my friends have left for New York or Illinois,) I’m just not at that point myself yet.
Trying to raise awareness in the UK, where I live, whilst at the same time becoming dissociated as fuck.
Any activism groups or anything like that in the UK you’d recommend helping?
I’m afraid I don’t know any off the top of my head. I guess Switchboard is a good charity, but I don’t know about any activists.
Right now, I’m just keeping my peers up to date and on the right track; I’d do more, and I will do more, but for now I just need to keep people’s attention and respect, or I likely won’t be able to reach them at all.
