I’m asking because it’s a very normal thing to do here.
When you enter a room, but also things like a hairdresser or say a small cafe, you say hello to the people there and say goodbye when leaving. Or when taking a bus, you say hello to the driver and goodbye or thank him when getting off.
I was only recently told by some online friends of mine that this is pretty weird in other places. So I’m wondering if I’m (or my country) is the weird one or them
(US) I greet the receptionist and the person I’m about to sit next but only if they make eye contact. I just give them a quick rhetorical “How’s it goin?”
Please no. Don’t ask a question you don’t want the answer to. Then my awkward ass is sitting there knowing I need to say “I’m good. How are you?” despite me not caring and I could be on the brink of a mental catastrophe. For us awkward people, please just say “Hi.”
Full disclosure, you might get me at one of my more angsty moments and I’ll start talking your ear off about how terrible my life is going and fill in all the unnecessary details (mostly all lies). I’d do this as a punishment for asking a question you clearly didn’t want the answer to in the first place.
Did I mention I’m awkward?
The trick is to just respond with “Hi” then look away. Conversation over.
I already do this but still find it annoying when randos do this especially in places like the bus where I can’t easily get away if they try to talk more.
Can you really not tell the difference between a quick “how’s it going” (which should elicit nothing more than a nod) and a boisterous “how’s it going?!” (which should elicit a conversation between acquaintances)?
To be fair, it is genuinely difficult for some people to distinguish tone and meaning from a question like that, particularly for those with autism.
These are called Phatic Expressions, and every culture has some version of them. Unfortunately, they aren’t really going anywhere, so it’s good to familiarize yourself with which questions in different cultures don’t require a response matching the question. A good example, as Tom mentions, is the famous “y’alright?” in the UK. They aren’t asking for a run down of your day, it’s just a societal greeting without any expectations.
They aren’t asking these questions to be unnecessarily nosy, so I’d advise against the passive aggression because people who greet others this way are well-meaning. I highly recommend that video to put these into perspective from the greeter.
So I meant that mostly tongue in cheek. However it’s cool to see there’s a term and use for it. In general I dislike small talk but will usually engage as minimally as possible just to be polite.
That’s fair. Yeah it’s definitely meant for even less than small talk; “minimally as possible” is the general sentiment behind phatic expressions in the first place.
You don’t have to say that.
In the context of random people who don’t know each other, it basically just means “I acknowledge your existence”. Acknowledge their existence and you’re good.
I say that as a greeting but if you really want to answer it, I will listen and respond with a “Not bad…You?” because I’m also awkward.
Ok, but that’s not a greeting. That’s a question
It is but that’s what some people do. It’s common. Like I said, I will listen if people choose to actually answer. I won’t be rude about it.