Yeah I understood that, but it’s about doing useful comparisons. If I want to hang a picture in my room, I don’t really care if it has been painted with ecologically friendly colors, I mean I do of course, but if it doesn’t look good, then it’s not going onto my wall. The eco-friendliness of the colors maybe changes my choice from a selection of good-looking pictures.
It’s kind of the same with erotic/romantic attraction. Yeah, someone beautiful in another area might be chosen over someone that’s not visually beautiful, but everyone has got a kind of “minimum” visual attraction that they won’t/can’t go below and still be attracted to somebody. We are very visual creatures. Our looks are important.
Not ultimately important of course. Understanding that some avenues are closed not because of your own fault, but because you just got bad luck in the genetic lottery is imo much easier to handle than thinking “yeah I’m just as competitive in this romantic/sexual field as anybody else” when you then get continually proven that no, you’re not, that other person that looks better than you got chosen over you. Because then you get into the real self worth problems, if you’d think that visuals did not matter, then obviously you’re not being chosen because you’re not beautiful anywhere else either. If it’s “just” visuals, that can be worked around and much easier swallowed.
Yeah I understood that, but it’s about doing useful comparisons. If I want to hang a picture in my room, I don’t really care if it has been painted with ecologically friendly colors, I mean I do of course, but if it doesn’t look good, then it’s not going onto my wall. The eco-friendliness of the colors maybe changes my choice from a selection of good-looking pictures.
It’s kind of the same with erotic/romantic attraction. Yeah, someone beautiful in another area might be chosen over someone that’s not visually beautiful, but everyone has got a kind of “minimum” visual attraction that they won’t/can’t go below and still be attracted to somebody. We are very visual creatures. Our looks are important.
Not ultimately important of course. Understanding that some avenues are closed not because of your own fault, but because you just got bad luck in the genetic lottery is imo much easier to handle than thinking “yeah I’m just as competitive in this romantic/sexual field as anybody else” when you then get continually proven that no, you’re not, that other person that looks better than you got chosen over you. Because then you get into the real self worth problems, if you’d think that visuals did not matter, then obviously you’re not being chosen because you’re not beautiful anywhere else either. If it’s “just” visuals, that can be worked around and much easier swallowed.