I’m just tired of people treating us like shit. I don’t know why I care. Why do people live to hate?
I try to think that maybe those people are so insecure about themselves that they shift the blame to others?
Most of the hate I see is projected through the news. There is some intolerance in my family, but we have an agreement. The friends I had before I came out who couldn’t cope are not my friends anymore. With time, I’ve grown to accept how those people saw me. They really didn’t see anything in me that they disliked. It’s not me. It’s how they understand LGBT lives to be. And it’s flat out wrong. I know that I’m living a normal and happy life being out and gay, so that helps me forget the hate. Another thing is that I’ve found a small community that supports me, and treats me as an equal. That’s an important thing for every LGBT person.
I don’t think about them as much now. I stay educated and up to date on the news, I do research and vote for people who make a difference, and I moved to a place where there are people like me. I spend time with my SO and feel happy about it. The people that hate usually get to know me before they know I’m bi. Once they see that I’m a normal person who just so happens to have a boyfriend, they tend to chill out.
I have a somewhat similar approach. Although I put purple laces on my work boots. Usually people learn I’m poly shortly before I’m bi though. While they usually don’t ask much about me being bi they tend to ask about the poly side.
Makes sense tbh. I’m bi but I’m very monogamous. Never understood how people can be poly. Not to say its a bad thing
No worries, I feel the same about monogamy. I’ve been poly longer than I’ve been married. And I’ve been married for a bit more than 10 years now.
Glad you found an accepting community, do you mind if I ask for some advice?
Sure!
In my day job i spend a lot of time doing education and professional development around supporting and including rainbow people - in healthcare, education, business, across every sector. We did the math recently, and figured out we’ve done this with over 15,000 people in the last three years - and I can count on one hand the times someone has been hateful or not willing to learn. Absolutely overwhelmingly people are wanting to know to better support our communities - it’s just that the opposition are so good at being very loud and taking up lots of space.
That’s something I keep coming back to when it feels overwhelming - there’s so much noise and so much hate, but I know it’s coming from an absolute minority. I know this is far more complex in the states, where that minority have a lot of power - but they are still the minority, for sure.
I find a lot of solace in finding community. All my best friends are absolute weirdos and I love them dearly. They make me think about what I value and the kind of person I want to be, challenging all the assumptions I formed growing up. Community makes me feel empowered and gives me somewhere I can retreat to when it all gets a bit much.
I honestly genuinely feel a deep compassion and sorrow for the people who “live to hate”. Not pity, because that suggests I’m above them, and actually, I’ve been shitty at numerous points in my life, I understand how easy it is to feel angry and hateful, and how easily one can fall into harmful, reinforcing cycles. I wish they could know the joy of being accepted for oneself, and the freedom of being able make mistakes and have people there to support you to be better.
I don’t think it’s a happy existence to lead and it’s sad to see them double down on the hate when they realise it isn’t filling the hole within them. I try not to think about it too much, but it’s hard when they’re so loud. Don’t get me wrong, I am angry as hell at what they are doing to harm people, and I will do whatever is necessary to defend my community, but I could never hate them. It takes a lot of energy to hate and I don’t have that in me.
