Usually when someone is venting at me, I feel like I should respond somehow and say something, but I have no idea what that something could/should be. Is it better to just listen or try to comfort them in some way?
Usually when someone is venting at me, I feel like I should respond somehow and say something, but I have no idea what that something could/should be. Is it better to just listen or try to comfort them in some way?
Just say contextually appropriate listening-interjections that validate their feelings. Things like, “WTF?” “Rude!” “How awful,” “Oof that’s stressful,” a disapproving hmmm, etc.
Imagine you’re a dustpan without a bottom: the dust of their venting gets swept in, but falls right back out without sticking to anything. Most importantly, don’t try to fix their feelings. That’s not your job. Your job is to meet them where they are, as they are. (And if, for whatever reason, you can’t, I’ve used the phrasing of, “I’m really sorry, but I can’t be a good audience for that. Do you need suggestions for finding other support?”)
This. I try to agree along for a bit. Often, once people get it out they’re able to laugh a little, so when it gets close to the end (theirs or mine) i usually say something like, “Those MF bastards!! Do they even know who they’re dealing with?!”