I (guy) considered myself straight most of my life. Didn’t even think about it. A couple years ago I had some sexual going ons with a dude and enjoyed it, I would happily engage in such things again. This continued for a while. People being attractive is the hook on the end of the line, but having an attractive personality and deeply caring for one another is what I really want. I guess that makes me bisexual. Not that anyone but two of my friends know.

Now I’ve moved and am longing for someone to hold me. I would’ve (probably fruitlessly) gone for women before (and still have interest in them) but I have a concern of anyone taking me the wrong way. I imagine women have some degree of caution when being approached by guys. A minority of guys may approach women with the intent of having sex with them and I’m sure that concern is in the back of their head when a guy they don’t know well is talking to them. I’m concerned about inappropriately coming off this way so that plus a lack of past successes has made me give up hope on that front. Conversely, I feel ‘I’ve got this’ about approaching guys I find attractive. It’s something new to me. (When it comes to expressing romantic interest, though, I’ll probably find the shy part of myself taking over lol.)

Anyways, ramble over. What should I do? Any words of advice? I’m not special, this can’t be a unique situation. Thanks for reading.

  • Cranakis @lemmy.oneEnglish
    1·
    8 months ago

    considered myself straight most of my life

    I don’t have advice but I relate to you here. I’m also a man and have only come to terms with my bisexuality in the last 3 years or so, but I’m probably older than you. I wonder what the future will hold for me. I’m married so that complicates things, and most of my friends think of me as straight, along with all of my family. I wouldn’t mind them knowing at this point but I just haven’t had a reason to tell them. It would cause some of them stress and I’d just rather not if I don’t have to.

    longing for someone to hold me

    Here I relate to the specifics of your need/desire but not that desire exactly. I do like being held. To my wife’s credit I feel mostly satisfied there. I feel a strong need to be desired though, suddenly along with all of this, and I feel dissatisfied there. I want to be wanted badly (sexually). An experience with a gay man that never turned sexual at all is at the start of that, for me, just a year or so ago.

    I agree with others here that we are all pretty unique, and I extend that to everyone, everywhere. Good for you for working to understand yourself better.