I’ve been on a slow but steady decline for the past several years. I don’t move at all, barely leaving my room let alone the house; I’ve taken to eating shit I order out instead of cooking meals myself; I don’t get involved with any local orgs besides sending dues every month; I haven’t read a book in months; I regularly fail to perform bare minimum hygiene. The only reason I’m able to keep alive at all is because I haven’t moved out of my parents’ house, burdening them with helping me. It would be understandable if I was living hand to mouth and had barely any free time, but I am one of the small percent of burgers who isn’t a month away from destitution and I have more than enough free time. Not to mention I receive no shortage of help.

Since I can’t blame my material circumstances, I can only conclude that I am this way because I always refuse to take personal responsibility. I know that changing myself so that I can be, at bare minimum, not a drain on society is going to take a lot of work, work that I always put off due to cowardice. Idealist as it is, I feel like I have some innate metaphysical trait that makes me this way, and the entirety of my failure to pick myself up is due to a moral failing on my part and nothing more.

How do I force myself to unfuck myself so that I can actually be useful for revolution instead of yet another useless first world lotus eater?

  • robot_dog_with_gun [they/them]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    same. weed makes me not feel like shit for a while but i can’t do complex cognitive tasks while i’m high so it’s not a viable long-term solution.

    they really don’t have any second-order treatments for us, do they

    • bunbun@lemmygrad.ml
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      1 year ago

      If you live in a legalized place - see if you can get CBG stuff. There are some concentrates and edibles, as well as more CBG-heavy strains. There’s research that shows promise with ADHD symptoms, and anecdotally it has a mood uplifting effect without fucking you up.