Hi, as the title says I’m a new developer and some days ago I was diagnosed. My diagnose journey started because I’m unable to be consistent (That’s not something new) and it is making me really depressed.
I just spend all day doing nothing and some day I just write most of what I have should written. Some days I force myself to code just to see all letters as blurry meaningless symbols and then I come back to square one where I procrastinate. Now I’m working from home, but when I go to office this gets 10 times worse.
I will be making an appointment to get medications soon, but does anyone have some additional ways to fight this?
EDIT: Thanks everyone that responded the call for help! To people that resonate with this post, please read these comments, all of them are really useful.
Update: All this post started because of a deadline i was having serious problems to reach.
If you are in the same spot as a new dev: What happened to me was that I was facing a really complex issue in which we lacked a lot of information and when I started to ask some key questions everything started to flow again, my main blocker was communication.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that I should have focused on understanding rather than trying to solve.
Yeah! Her channel is great overall, watching it definitely made me more aware of my brain, definitely recommend.
You actually reminded me of something else I do, I make a conscious effort to not compare myself directly to my peers because then I always feel like I am not working as hard as they are. I finally started doing this after like the 5th manager told me to stop working so hard and I realized the times that I would consider myself 50% productive I get more done than the average coworker does at 100% productive.
Now, I definitely don’t say that as a brag in any way. I am not a classic overachiever I don’t think, I think it just speaks to the way my brain is wired (and lots of ND folks!). I am definitely my own worst critic and I definitely let perfect be the enemy of good when I am building things, I have to keep reminding myself to stop it and that done is not the same thing as matching the “perfect” vision I have in my head.
Anyway, enough rambling from me!
Not officially diagnosed with ADD (on a waitlist though) but autistic, and I second that. I constantly feel like I’m too lazy and yet I got my current job through an internship. It was supposed to last three months and I got an of#er three weeks in, because they were so impressed with my willingness to perform.
I was very bewildered. I still have to remind myself of that when I feel like I’m not getting shit done because my mind refuses to cooperate. What I can convince myself of by now is that those moments are the productivity normal for most people and that even when I’m like that my productivity is high enough - especially because that is usually the moment when I look into things that are not the absolute core of my job.
I’m a test automation engineer, but people explicitly want me to not just automate, but also care for quality topics as a whole, so reading relevant blogs and security news and feeding that back into the team is part of my job.
Still often feel guilty about that, but my boss repeatedly told me I’m absolutely overachieving and fulfilling the job more than he hoped for.
For me, there’s two takeaways:
This is sage advice right here, very well said.
To your point, every job interview I have I tell them that I like money but 11 times out of 10 boredom or micromanaging will make me leave faster than they can blink. For what it’s worth I also write a lot of automation code, mostly Python and Terraform these days.
OP, one more thing, if you enjoy programming already but it’s not interesting enough I would definitely look into a SRE or “DevOps” style role. Working on automation definitely keeps me interested because there is always a new problem to solve or handy tool to write. It is also very fulfilling because your job is to make other people faster so it feeds my people pleaser brain well too. Also, Some of the best DevOps/SRE/platform/whatever engineers I know are also the laziest people I know as well, so being lazy can be a strength haha!