• Shadywack@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    11
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    8 months ago

    If you don’t have a reason to keep on living, you have to make one. Set your direction. You don’t have to live just to provide for others.

    It’s like you didn’t read what he said. You can do exactly that, set your own reason and start expressing yourself as you feel. The problem is that you are looked down on for it and marginalized. One of my best friends is gay, and he works in sales. He has to conceal much of himself to get by, and even in situations where he’s comfortable discussing his orientation, even amongst his own circles the issue of talking about your feelings is still difficult for people to accept.

    If it’s an issue for gay people, imagine how fucked it is for straight people. Your comment comes off as if you clicked reply on the wrong thing.

    • 520@kbin.social
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      3
      arrow-down
      4
      ·
      8 months ago

      I get that it isn’t simple or easy. There are parts of myself that I hide in public too, things that shouldn’t matter but for some reason do.

      But if people are demanding that you give and give and give until there is nothing left, you owe it to yourself to either tell them to get fucked or find a way to get them out of your life. Easier said than done, I know, but it is the only way you will be free of that bullshit.

      • Shadywack@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        5
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        8 months ago

        you are looked down on for it and marginalized

        You just said and exact quote

        you owe it to yourself to either tell them to get fucked or find a way to get them out of your life.

        When that list includes your own mother, father, siblings, supervisor at work, and SO, I think your advice is tantamount to amputating a limb because of the discomfort it experiences in life, as opposed to recognizing the issue. I’m taking what you’re saying as aloof to the very subject matter here, and hence the subject we’re discussing here in the first place. The idea of telling your loved ones to get fucked and get them out of your life is in line with the issue of suicide, depression, and anxiety.

        The depression from where you just became lonelier, and the suicide as many people see it as an “out”. You may as well just say, go kill yourself if you don’t like this world…and then we’re back to square one again.

        Either way, have a nice downvote for your terrible attitude. I hope you have something better to say than the old “toughen up” advice that constitutes what makes this fucked.

        • 520@kbin.social
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          3
          arrow-down
          2
          ·
          edit-2
          8 months ago

          If I sound aloof then I am sorry. But I have had to make similar choices. Saying goodbye to shit people can be truly difficult, but it’s either that or endure their shit if they won’t listen to you.

          I am not saying to wallow in loneliness. You will need to find non-shit people to make a friend network, even just a small one.

          It is a lot of effort and even the prospect is scary as fuck…but living a life enduring an untenable burden will never be better.

          Sometimes life gives us impossible choices. Like upend everything or live in misery.

      • Kedly@lemm.ee
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        8 months ago

        Bud, we hide this shit because the punishment for not doing so is worse than whatever we gain from not hiding it, we wouldnt have started hiding it if it weren’t

        • 520@kbin.social
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          1
          arrow-down
          1
          ·
          8 months ago

          I have autism. I know far more about that than you’d think.

          • Kedly@lemm.ee
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            2
            ·
            edit-2
            8 months ago

            Ok and? I have autism too and the point still stands. The world we live in exists as it is and we have to work with that, fair or not. Isolation and ostracization arent healthier for you mental health than learning what you can and cant say

            • 520@kbin.social
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              1
              arrow-down
              1
              ·
              edit-2
              8 months ago

              Bruh, did you read what I wrote or did you skim it? I talked about cutting off toxic people, not isolating yourself totally.

              • Kedly@lemm.ee
                link
                fedilink
                arrow-up
                2
                ·
                8 months ago

                Most people get choosy about their inner circle as they get older. The issue is that most of us still have to interact with society at large outside of our inner circle, and no, telling people who you interact with at work or while grocery shopping to fuck off doesnt end well

                • 520@kbin.social
                  link
                  fedilink
                  arrow-up
                  1
                  arrow-down
                  2
                  ·
                  edit-2
                  8 months ago

                  Most people get choosy about their inner circle as they get older.

                  Yes, making new friends is hard. Wanna know what else is hard? Living life surrounded by fake friends that make you not want to continue in life. Choose your ‘hard’.

                  The issue is that most of us still have to interact with society at large outside of our inner circle

                  What part of that means you have to put up with disrespectful behaviour?

                  and no, telling people who you interact with at work or while grocery shopping to fuck off doesnt end well

                  The ‘fuck off’ is not meant to be literal. The point is to stand up for yourself. If that isn’t viable, cut them off.