I cannot keep my job. Firstly because I’m on FMLA (unpaid medical leave) for a mystery illness and I cannot guarantee that, even if finally diagnosed, I will be recovered by the 12 week maximum allotted.
Secondly because we’ve put our daughter in online school due to severe bullying. The program she’s in now is awful and I have to help her through her English lessons (she’s in 7th grade and they’re having her read 18th century texts). We’re switching her to a new program next semester which requires a parent to be a full-time “learning coach” for their kid to keep them on track.
It’s a terrible job. I absolutely hate it. The pay is low, the job is boring, my co-workers don’t really care about my existence, and my bosses are friendly but unreasonable. The only thing I like is that I have a hybrid schedule where I can work from home for 18 hours a week. But spending the other 22 hours in the office sucks. I spend the whole time wearing noise-cancelling headphones just to get through the time there. I’ve wanted to leave this job for a good year now although I admit I wasn’t trying very hard to find another one.
But I just can’t bring myself to resign. I don’t know why. Something is stopping me like it’s the wrong thing to do. I know I will be happier even though we will be on a single income, I am doing the right thing for my daughter, and I have no idea when this medical issue will be resolved.
I was going to write the resignation letter last Friday. Every day I mean to write it and every day I just can’t do it. I know I have to do it soon. Maybe even today. But something won’t let me do it. My brain is telling me I can’t quit.
Thanks for reading my rant. I don’t know why I wrote it. I guess I needed to let it out to someone other than my wife and my boss follows me on non-anonymous social media so I can’t really talk about it there.
EDIT: I wrote the email, showed it to my wife to see what she thought and sent it. Now all I have to do is sit back and wait for a reply, but I’m shaking.
There’s a lot of cultural forces keeping people at jobs. We’re told to never quit from everything. We’re told it in school, movies, sitcoms and stories so it feel wrong and bad to quit. Especially true for work. The Office made Josh Porter the villain for quitting a failing paper company for a senior position at a successful company. And that’s a feel good sitcom
Not too mention that our work is highly tied to our identities to a fault. The classic first question you ask anyone is what do you do for work. Not too mention the guilt business put on people to come in because their coworkers have to fill in. Since most people like their coworker this feels like letting them down. But it’s the company letting them down by not replacing you or staffing at the correct level.
So everything you are feeling is normal especially if you have never quit a job before. It’s hard but you are going to feel amazing when you do it. There’s no feeling like quitting a job you hate
Thank you. I appreciate all that you said and I agree with all of it. I also never thought about the whole ‘never quit’ thing being linked to my problem here. That makes a lot of sense.