First off those people don’t actually understand the social model of disability. The whole point is society makes it harder to get along because of disability or difference and the lack of acceptance and accomodation. If that same society offers aid you should generally take it. At least that’s my understanding.

You are also starting with the assumption that there is actually help for adults with disabilities like autism and ADHD. The truth is there isn’t that help available in many societies. Calling yourself “broken” isn’t going to change that fact.