Man, it feels like I’m talking to myself. When I’m having a heavy work week I also tend to only go twice. I’ll tell you what I tell myself though, twice is plenty if I pick up the pace again in a week or two. And it is geniunely hard to get to the gym if you work, much harder than it is to actually do the exercises. No use beating yourself up about doing more than most people do anyway.

I’m lucky to finally be at a place where my ADHD feels truly under control, but I still get really pissed off if anyone insinuates I’m lazy or not committed to something, because like you that’s what I internalised years ago and I literally had to stop thinking that way to become productive. People throw the word lazy around too easily.

And lastly I relate so much to your anxiety. I live in Africa and I have this consistent underlying fear that something completely out of my control could kill me or rob me of my dignity. Especially with climate change becoming more serious now like you said. Obviously there’s always the risk of death anyway but I don’t want to die because of a fucking flood or a drought. And beyond that I’m really worried about stuff like my pension even though I’m fucking 24 lol. If everything goes ass up what the hell happens to my money?

It sucks man, and the common advice of “don’t worry about things out of your control” seems so cheap when these things could kill us or put us on the streets. I don’t know where to go with any of it yet, still trying to find a way to make peace with the state of things. But I will say I’m not sure if the answer is just dealing with it better, because that kind of implies that at the moment you aren’t trying hard enough, when to be frank everything might be so messed up that this state of anxiety is just normal regardless of how hard you try to deal with it. Shit is complex