• AFK BRB Chocolate@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    Exactly! I’ve never experienced it first hand, but I’ve seen the anguish of friends whose parents keep setting them up on straight dates with people they fundamentally aren’t attracted to. I’ve had trans women friends who weren’t close to passing and who desperately wanted a relationship with a straight man. Often they’d end up dating gay men, feeling unsatisfied because those men treated them like another man. So much sadness.

    I often think that the people who believe sexuality is a choice must at least be bi. There’s just no circumstance where I could choose to be attracted to men instead of women, and it’s laughable to think otherwise. I feel like anyone who thinks otherwise must have the capacity to make that choice, and the poor reasoning skills to think someone would.

    • A Phlaming Phoenix@lemm.ee
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      11 months ago

      As a bi guy, it doesn’t work any different for us. We’re attracted to men and women whether we like it or not. We don’t choose our attractions. We don’t think it’s a choice.

      • JokeDeity@lemm.ee
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        11 months ago

        What sexuality am I if I love everything about women and feminine looks, but also like a big fat cock, yet dislike literally every single other thing about men and masculinity? Legitimately asking.

        • A Phlaming Phoenix@lemm.ee
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          11 months ago

          I don’t know, and it’s not for me to say. Sexuality is a fluid spectrum, and I’m reluctant about labels in the first place. I’m especially reluctant to label an Internet stranger for them. You are what you say you are. Sounds like somewhere in the bi/pan/omni range.

            • JackGreenEarth@lemm.ee
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              11 months ago

              I know. Also top surgery. I don’t think surgery should be forced on anyone who doesn’t want it. If they do want it it’s a different matter of course

            • Schmoo@slrpnk.net
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              11 months ago

              You’re not alone, I’m the same way, albeit a bit more open to somewhat masculine traits (my attraction extends to twinks or sufficiently effeminate men). This made it hard to understand if I was bi or something else, but eventually I concluded that the words we choose to use are inherently imprecise because we create them to represent definite categories that only approximate reality.

              My attraction to all women, some men, and trans women w/o bottom surgery I guess makes me approximately bi.

        • DroneRights [it/its]@lemm.ee
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          11 months ago

          You’re either a lesbian, a straight man, or a femme-attracted nonbinary. Penis doesn’t make someone a man or not a woman, and it sounds like you’d be very happy with a penis having female woman.

      • Kecessa@sh.itjust.works
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        11 months ago

        Yeah I think some people don’t understand that it’s no better if you need to contain your feelings for someone just so you can try and find someone else to be with just so you can pass for an hereto…

      • AFK BRB Chocolate@lemmy.world
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        11 months ago

        Oh, understood. My thought was that those far right Christian conservatives who think people choose to be gay must live straight lives but have at least some attraction to the same sex.