Some background - I am diagnosed with autism and it can be hard for me to just “ignore” the awful things people can say to me when I’m online.
The latest thing someone said to me really got me feeling down and depressed. Honestly having darker thoughts because of it.
I have IBS-D, which means there is an insane amount of food I cannot eat - if I do eat the things I cannot, my intestines get shredded and I bleed like crazy. Honestly the list is massive and my diet has basically been chicken green beans and potatoes every night for the past 3 years. I have lost over 60 lbs, and currently weigh 130lbs as a 5.11 male. Doctors have been trying to figure it out but they haven’t been able to and say I may just have to live with it.
This person was calling me a monster because I eat meat, even though I have a medical condition that makes my diet extremely limited. Unfortunately meat is one of the only things that agrees with my stomach across the board. I’d like to be vegetarian but I literally will die from malnutrition and weight loss if I did try. I explained this to the user but they didn’t care.
I explained my autism to them, and that what they were saying was making me depressed and they just continued with saying how I was a monster and killing myself wouldn’t be as bad as killing all the animals I have to “enjoy” meat. They said my condition wasn’t an excuse and compared me to the “sexual cycle of violence” of dracula.
This user made me feel really sad and crappy. Afterwards I cried for a while but I don’t feel better.
The problem I have is that there are many people online who seem to get pleasure from being awful to others, and it gets to me every time.
Does anyone have any advice for handling these situations online? Often I hear people say you should just ignore these people and move on, but I end up ruminating on what they’ve said and it can make me feel bad for weeks on end. Sometimes I feel like I should just give up using the internet because of these people.
I have ASD, and I’ve found a lot of relief from CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) techniques when it comes to online rumination and other similar situations where you end up focussing on an injust interaction you can’t do anything about. (This has happened to me many times too)
The internet tends to distort the way people think and react without them even realizing. EVERYONE falls victim to cognitive fallacies, so doing some CBT exercises is a great way to help pull you out of a negative feedback loop caused by a bad internet interaction. (Not just internet interactions, but any anxiety-inducing situation.)
This website is a long read, but it’s very worthwhile. It offers both an intro to CBT and some introductory worksheets, as well as further reading.
Even becomming aware of the ways your brain reacts to certain situations can be helpful. The site includes some worksheets and suggestions for easy CBT based exercises to help manage these feelings. After a while you can check yourself with what you’ve learned. It doesn’t work 100% of the time, but it does help significantly.
After a while if you get into the habit of working through and analyzing these reactions, it can really help, honestly!! It’s worth the read. I really think it could help you with this and future online infuriating situations. (I keep encountering these too, haha, I think everyone does. You are not alone!)
There are many other CBT books you can order that offer a similar therapeutic effect. Many CBT books are also workbooks where you physically write things out on paper, something I find helpful as well.
I really hope this helps, as it’s really helped me more than I thought it would. Good luck! :)
Thank you for this, I am on a waiting list for CBT so this might be something that can help me a lot. I am going to try going to sleep soon, but I have that link bookmarked and open in a new window, I will be sure to read it tomorrow.
I am working on mindfulness with my current therapist but we have not done any CBT, I am sure that it will be helpful.
Thank you for taking the time to read my post and thank you for your advice.