As a Floridian, I was disgusted to receive an email several month ago from the office of the Surgeon General advising against getting Covid vaccines and boosters knowing a majority of folks who receive this email will take this as best recommended practice. Folks, it is your choice, but please talk to your doctor to help guide you in such decisions.
Nurse here. Yep it took about 2 years until it all clicked, but always learning. What’s your unit? It sounds like your coworkers are also burned out if they are bullying you. Do you have a nurse educator? Maybe they could guide you on things you are unsure about or need more practice with. Is there a way you can transfer to another unit that may be a better fit? If you are not stuck at that hospital under contract, look into travel nursing when you get a year under your belt. Sometimes there are local opportunities. Some hospitals have New Grad positions where they try to ensure their new nurses are mentored properly to build confidence.
If you are stuck at that unit/hospital, try to keep pushing through. Build that thick skin. Regarding confidence: fake it til you make it, but always ask questions and make sure patient safety is your top priority. Try not to think of your coworkers ask trying to push you to do things their way as a bad thing. IMO, everyone has a different way of doing things. Observe coworkers techniques and adapt to whatever works best for you. I go by the old “kill them with kindness” technique. Pleasantly thank them for showing you their way of doing things, but in the end you do you as long as you keep your patients safe.
Can you switch shifts? If so, perhaps give that a try. When I was burned out on days, I switched to nights and the tempo and personalities were different.
It is hard. And the only ones who understand are those who have gone through it. In the end, if it is truly wrecking your soul, it is not worth it. Try to stick it out if you can, but not at the expense of your mental, physical, or emotional well being.
I wish you the best. Feel free to DM me if you want to chat any further on this topic.