I mean, it’s not just herd mentality. I’m just not willing to lock myself out of relationships because of my principles. It’s not my fault my mum can’t be convinced to ditch Whatsapp for signal. Not willing to give up communication with her.
Herd mentality would be if you did a thing because others do it even if there wouldn’t be any loss from switching to a better thing. It’s more complex if you’d lose out a great deal from the switch.
It’s a bit silly that you say ‘goddammit neurotypicals’ because they don’t communicate their need to leave, but you don’t seem to communicate your need for them to leave either. Just tell them you’re tired and would like for them to leave/leave soon. I do this and nobody has ever been offended. I guess someone who’d get offended by direct communication like that wouldn’t be friends with me because I be like that.