When I was a kid my first puppy love crush was on a Sunday school teacher named Amber. And the name stuck with me. I met a second Amber in highschool and she was pure gender envy. I’ve used it online for my “pretend I’m a girl online” name many times, and if I had daughters instead of sons there’s a possibility one of them would have ended up with the name. But a couple people have started calling me Amber to my face and it’s the best thing ever.

Well, sometimes my oldest calls me Mom, just accidentally/out of habit, and it doesn’t feel any better than Dad. So I don’t think my dysphoria requires Mom, and it’ll be easier for the kiddos as they won’t have to adapt. We’ve been trying to chip at the gender norms and see what fits and what doesn’t, as the wife and I are working this out. She/her/husband/dad might be where we end up so everyone can feel comfortable about where we are as a family.

Yeah, my brother is one of the pastors at our church, and I came out to him on Easter, so this conversation has already started. I don’t know if I’ll be able to keep my church, I’m afraid I’ll have to find a place that doesn’t assume they have all the answers. But a “long and painful journey” has been my life so far, and both my wife and I are determined to make this work. This is progress, we are headed in the right direction, in the same direction. Feels good.

I came out to my family yesterday, at an Easter thing. That was tough but woof that’s a load off. Now I can boymode less around them!

I was going to come out during the super bowl party my sister was holding, because a quorum of my family was going to be there. Next opportunity is an Easter party my sister is holding, which is in one week from today. So I’m excited/nervous/trying to figure out what I’m going to say.

Hi Amber! Always fun seeing another Amber in the wild, I wish you the best of luck!

I’m way further along than I ever thought I’d get. The laser hair removal and the finastride are both working great to add/remove hair where needed. My bald spot has tiny little hairs growing! I have a small selection of women’s clothing, and I love them, but fuck women’s pockets. I guess I need a purse? Also ordered a gaff, should help me feel more confident in my girl jeans.

On the other hand, I’m missing some foundations. I was planning on coming out socially to my family during a superb owl party, but then everyone got sick and it was cancelled. I need to find another time where we can just chill over a beer and go over everything. Maybe someday after church? Because I’m missing my social foundation, I can’t drop the masc. Which means I can’t shave and laser my face (wearing the same distinctive beard for years means there will be questions if it goes away). Which means I can’t learn makeup. So feeling a tiny bit stuck until I can come out.

Also, the wife likes how happy presenting more fem makes me, but still thinks that her being with a woman is a sin and is suppressing her bi side. The current compromise is no estrogen for me. Again, this is much further than I ever thought I’d get, so I’m taking it in stride and doing what I can with what I have.

Continuing goals: voice train, lose weight, increase fem wardrobe. New goals: come out, destroy beard, learn makeup Pipe dream: convince the wife that estrogen is the bestrogen, slowly grow into old ladies together, and convince the world that “Queer Christian” isn’t an oxymoron.

Won’t someone please think of the poor multi-billion-dollar company! The losses for them and their poor multi-billion-dollar shareholders!

How does one get a therapist? That’s not something I usually think about.

Thanks for the girl talk. That helps a ton. I especially like the idea of wearing what I normally wear, but girl. I’ll look into some pants, blouses, and sweaters cut for ladies, and see about a bra and maybe some falsies. After that I’ll have to bite the bullet and get some makeup and look in the mirror. I’ve always known what I am, so I’ve leaned pretty hard into the GNC, so I’ve already been painting my nails for a while, and it does give such gender euphoria.

I’ve been using a little laser I bought on Amazon for the last couple of weeks, I think it’s working. Afraid to point it at my face, so I might get that done professionally. Got myself prescriptions for hair loss, we’ll see what happens there.

I got a sugar scrub, is that a good skincare routine? I honestly know nothing about that.

I have one friend who calls me Amber, I’m still kinda closeted to everyone else. I was planning on coming out to my family at the super bowl party at my sister’s house, but we got sick.

HRT is… So I’m married, my wife and I have kids. I’m tied down. I’ve been open and honest about all this with the wife (eventually) and she’s let me know where she is. The current compromise is that I can go full femboy, she has no moral issue with that. She draws the line at HRT. We are Christians, but I’m definitely more liberal and egalitarian than she is, I kinda have to be to exist at all as a trans Christian. I see nothing wrong with being in a homosexual relationships, she does. She’s bi, and maybe agender, but feels she has to suppress it. We’re working through it. Every time I mention this online, people are like “break up with her!” and the answer to that is no. We truly love each other and are going to make this work. I knew when I got married in a conservative church that I would probably never get to transition, I made that choice and I’m going to stick with her. Going “full femboy,” as she put it, is further than I ever thought I’d get to go, and I’m going to take full advantage of that. I’m hoping that when she sees how happy every step of this journey is making me, she’ll eventually call me by my real name and be ok with HRT. We’ll see, but I’m not getting my hopes up.

How did it go?

7

I’ll take the purple challenge, I’m already good on the others.

I wouldn’t feel guilty about not caring about a high-profile death. People you’ve never heard of die every minute, and we aren’t equipped with enough empathy to care about them all.

I’m… hanging in there. The overlap between the Christian and Trans communities is nearly non-existent, and both are blaming the other for all the world’s problems, so being both is really fucking hard right now. My pastor just recently went out of his way to make sure we understood that LGBT=bad and I feel like I should complain but don’t know how to do so without outing myself. I wish I could transition without losing everyone I know and love, and have found myself passively pushing away from old relationships. I’ve been looking into other churches but finding a place that is actually accepting and actually teaches the Bible feels just as impossible as transitioning right now.

Closeted transbian, so: very gay, but currently in a straight-passing relationship. My girlfriend is bi, so maybe one day we can be gay instead of pretending to be straight.