FFXIV’s high-end content is, without a single question, something that you’ll want a regular group for. I basically quit because I couldn’t convince my friends to keep playing. Partyfinder isn’t usually toxic, but it’s always draining because high end content doesn’t really let you “carry” somebody and if a single person leaves then you’ll most likely be starting fresh with another person who has never done the encounter before.
I don’t think it’s prudish to focus on cool before sexy as the default, especially in games where you’re creating an avatar of yourself vs playing a pre-defined character. Maybe I’m out of touch but I don’t make characters I’m attracted to, I make characters to represent myself. I want to see me looking cool, not me with my cheeks spread.