Personally I’m not sure the gate keeping you’re observing is all that much of an issue. I think it’s useful to remember many vegans are also public advocates for veganism. It’s important to them that people generally know what they mean when they advocate for veganism.
However, the definition of all words are always in flux. It’s not uncommon to see people call themselves vegan when a more apt description of their lifestyle would be plant based, flexitarian, vegetarian, etc. As such, I think edge cases like your friend take on an outsized importance that goes beyond the morality of your friend eating honey.
Basically, the goal may not be the social exclusion of your friend which is what I think is usually the problematic aspect of gatekeeping.
Correct me if I’m wrong but it sounds like you haven’t visited China in person. I highly recommend that’s where you start. If you’re a student China is actually running a program called “Bridge of the Future” where they bring American students to visit China. Also, if you’re still in school I suggest doing some sort of language or study abroad program. That will give you a longer time to familiarize yourself with the country.
A. Flying there is easy. It wouldn’t be hard to figure out how to get your stuff to China.
B. You really should visit first. Shanghai is more westernized and thus may be less of a culture shock. That said, there are large cultural differences between cities including work/life balance.
C. It really depends. They do recruit foreigners, usually for technically skilled positions or to be English teachers. However, depending on where you’re at in school maybe consider applying to a graduate degree program in China. That would be the ideal way to build the connections you want.
D. The firewall is more or less intense depending on the province you visit. You will lose access to a lot of things you might find that you miss. However, people in China use VPNs all the time. The government doesn’t really seem to care that much either. I feel like the firewall has evolved into an economic protectionist measure to disincentivize Chinese citizens from using foreign social media. That said almost everyone I know in China has an instagram lol.
E. For these kinds of things you really do need to become literate in Mandarin. On legal documents they may provide translations. However if you use the translation you assume the risk that the translation isn’t accurate. Also, healthcare can be cheep but only if you go to providers that aren’t intended for foreigners.
F. It’s not uncommon for scammers to exist in some of the major cities where foreign tourists visit. However, I’ve rarely heard of any violent crimes being a problem. Personally I find Chinese cities much safer than European cities and especially US cities. That said like all cities it varies by neighborhood.
G. Honestly that’s part of why I suggest you visit first. There may be a lot of things about China that you may not like that are just a matter of personal preference. That includes cultural differences.
H. China doesn’t recognize dual citizenship. That means if you want to become a citizen you have to renounce any citizenships you currently have. If you are a citizen of the US or EU country I think doing this is just a plainly bad idea even if you intend to stay.
Lastly something you haven’t mentioned but I assume given where you’re posting that you may have an ideological motivation for wanting to move to China. I think that can be a little dangerous and set you up for failure if you don’t take things slow and visit the country or study there for a time as a I suggested. Here on lemmy, most of our discussion of China is shaped by western propaganda. That means we can get defensive and highlight the successes while deconstructing the myths. Rarely do we have the chance to critique China without risking the discussion devolving into western chauvinism. That said, by visiting China and engaging with it directly you’ll almost certainly find there are aspects of China you do not like. However, I expect the only meaningful way to understand what I mean would be to visit before you commit to moving there.