A) Cool story, bro. B) The fact that they think this lie reflects something significant about their business acumen tells you everything you need to know about corporate culture. Their only metric for competency is the amount meaningless jargon they’re able to use throughout the day.

Honestly, I’m more angry about the meme creator thinking that Super Mario Bros. was 1972.

OK, well then I’m glad I said, “be nice to them,” not, “be a nice person in your heart of hearts.”

Well, I was nice to her, and now I’m married, so… ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

My wife has always told me that women really just want a guy who is nice to them and doesn’t smell, and monosphere weirdos keep telling them to do the opposite.

The song you play to summon that statue is called, “The Elegy of Emptiness.” Make of that what you will.

No, that’s Fred Durst. Limp Bizkt is the name of the doctor that created him.

A long time ago, a female friend told me that a cute guy had given her his number, and she really like that because it felt less vulnerable than giving out her number to a guy she just met. The next time I saw her, I asked her how it went with the guy, and she said, “Oh, I was gonna text him, but then I got too nervous, and now it’s been too long.”

I mean, that’s not my experience with Threads, but I appreciate the sentiment.

That can’t be right. That feels like when Republicans say, “Democrat party,” instead of, “Democratic,” because they think it’s some big insult or something. (For the record, I’m sure you’re right, I just think it’s dumb.)

When I was in college, Canandian Geese were all over the park outside my apartment building. They never got out of the way, shit all over the grass, just made a mess of the place. One night, my neighbor came home a little tipsy, and when a goose got to close to him, he slapped it on the back. Not enough to injure it, but he definitely startled it. For the rest of the year, the geese cleared a path for him whenever he came through. I guess word got around in the goose community that he was not to be fucked with.

You haven’t seen the latest movie. There are apparently many tribes of Minions, including some that were in America in the late 20s to early 30s.

I’ve definitely noticed that midrange white sedans (especially Hondas and Toyotas) with visible damage are the fastest vehicles on the road. Even the guys who drive sports cars don’t go as fast as a guy in a dented white Honda.

I’m not sure about how annoying they are IRL, but I do notice that, on the road, they are hands-down the most reckless drivers. BMW drivers are the kind of people who don’t signal, giant pickup truck drivers will pass you on the right going 40 mph over the speed limit, but jeep drivers are the kind of people that will veer over three lanes of traffick and cut in front of a semi to make their exit.

Yeah, probably, although I think anyone with a vague idea of an overarching plot would have made me happier.

TLJ was actually the most misogynistic of all of the Star Wars movies.

Curious to know why you feel that way. I’ve heard chuds complain that it was too feminist, but I’ve never heard anyone claim it was misogynistic.

Yeah after the big bad is killed, they fight some unnamed guards.

Yeah, I didn’t care. Snoke was a boring Palpatine knock-off (I mean, they literally retconned him to be his clone), and killing him off unceremoniously was the only interesting choice Johnson made that wasn’t undone by the end of the movie. And the guard fight is incredible. Aside from Darth Maul fight (which, admittedly, may be the best in the franchise), the fight scenes in the prequels have so many backflips and somersaults, overlaid with gratuitous CGI and green screen, that they felt like special effects instead of fight choreography. Fighting those 5 gaurds had more weight and higher stakes than Obi-Wan battling a CGI Grievous or jumping over green screen lava with anakin.

I mean, there is a lot of good stuff in there, and I genuinely love Rian Johnson. I think the Knives Out movies are the best thing to happen to the mystery genre in decades, and Poker Face is the second best. And honestly, most of my problems with TLJ are because of Johnson made interesting choices, which is better than Abrahams making a shot-for-shot remake of A New Hope or whatever the hell he was trying to do with Rise of Skywalker.

Seriously? There was a whole movement to reshoot the movie because the, “SJWs,” had ruined Star Wars. They claimed they, “destroyed,” Luke’s character because that wanted to, “empower,” Rey. They were furious that Poe was getting reprimanded by women, and that Hodo wore a dress. They even bullied the lady who played Rose Tico off of Instagram for being a woman of color in Star Wars.

I didn’t even like talking my problems with the movie because I didn’t want to be lumped in with the Groypers and incels. I kept seeing reviews and comments talking about how this completely turned Star Wars on it’s head and I kept thinking, “no it fucking didn’t, they chickened out and reestablished the status quo at the last second,” but I kept my mouth shut for years.

Edit: This smug little weirdo makes for a good case study of the right-wing grievance culture around the movie. Just be sure to watch with an ad blocker so you don’t give him any revenue.

The fuck are you talking about? I’m not complaining about Rey being too powerful or Luke being too grumpy, I’m not bitching about Rose existing, and I’m actually defending Hodo instead of throwing a fit that a woman in a dress was in a position of authority. I’ve also got 2 paragraphs about structural issues and thematic failures that I’ve never heard anyone mention. Maybe some right-winger brought up one of the same plot holes, but anyone with half a brain would ask why they didn’t pull that light-speed maneuver against the Death Star.