I’m in my early 30s, and likewise, never liked life. I’ve listened to people and they always say “it gets better”. I doubt it, but even if it did, when? What even gets ‘better’? How? When you’ve been crippled by age does the universe pull back the curtains to reveal meaning, or floods your body with feel-good chemicals?

Oh, the assumption of no pre-thought is amusing. I have a large supply of prescription only medications. I know it works, because it’s been knocking me out for the past year.

You don’t even need a sleeping aid. The monoxide will do that for you.

All places are interesting. Start off in china, vietnam, japan, singapore, wherever. This part is the one with no foundation. It doesn’t have to. Go wherever I’m allowed to on my passport. Move on before I overstay.

Carbon monoxide poisoning with sleeping pills to get to and stay asleep.

Yes, Yacy is what you want OP (https://yacy.net). It’s rather pathetic that people are still trying to be a parasite, but wanting to do so anonymously. Roll up your sleaves and commit your resources to making community search engines work. You have the control.

When do we commercialise for the owners? Can’t wait to be exploited in novel ways.

Why? So you see other retards, like yourself, struggling to live an adequate life? These are the most depressing groups I’ve ever been to. Never left one feeling less misserable than when I went in. Funny.

That yearning sense of isolation never leaves. You could be hugged everyday. Doesn’t matter.

Sounds good, but it’s complete nonsense.

I don’t really want to talk to people. I don’t know what to do with them. They make me uncomfortable. I make them uncomfortable. Just go. I’ve never met someone I “mesh” with.

My whole live I’ve been ignored. No one wants me around. It’s delussional to think otherwise at this point. I know people will cling to ‘hope’ (more accurately described as a dellusion), but it’s expensive, and at the end of the day it’s not real. This isn’t a disease you recover from. It’s a flaw in your personality. An unadvantagouse evolutionry shuffle. Better to not drag it out. Things don’t get better.

Way too late for that. The ‘immaturity’ (not quite the right word) immediatly repulses your peers. Younger and older reject you too. There’s no catching up. You’re left behind permanently.

Am Op. Lost credentials for the other account. Responding to old post but idk.

People say “see a therapist”. I had. For nearly a year. And then I was seeing a psychiatrist too. It doesn’t matter. If they’re good at their job or not, it still doesn’t matter. At the end of the day you leave their office the exact same person you were when you went in. It’s all a huge waste of time. And money. Psychology is a scam. Medications are useless trash.

Some people are born broken, others are broken in their formative years. You can’t fix it. You can be patched up, but “normal” people see that a mile away and avoid you. Similar broken people may hang around, but they do that only because other people have already rejected them.

Life’s retarded if you’re not configured to be blissfully unaware of literally everything. When you can’t feel normal, or happy ever, what’s the point?

Quit my job. Plan on doing some travels before kms. If miserable people go those that are left would be better off.