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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 22nd, 2023

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  • As far as anxiety goes, I loved a book called Dare by Barry McDonagh. Not going to lie, it boils down to “accept the anxiety” which sounds very “thanks I’m cured”, but it walks you through the steps to get there.

    I had a bad reaction to some medication, and had to go to the ER. For a long time after that I was terrified of dying and even just being alone in a room in case I needed help but couldn’t talk. For the first week or two after that, I’d have a panic attack every few minutes. It eventually spaced out to a few times a week, but it felt debilitating and embarrassing, and every time it felt like I was having a heart attack. I was constantly analyzing my body for any sign of abnormality and just waiting for it to turn on me.

    Seeing as I couldn’t get rid of the anxiety, I bought the book because it was on sale and it actually helped me a ton. Every so often I feel one coming on, but I’m now able to recognize it for what it is and move on with my life as opposed to getting sucked in.

    For meditation (kind of in reply to one of your replies here), to me meditating isn’t directly about feeling better, it’s about noticing things and accepting what’s there.

    The meditation app I like is Smiling Mind. It gets a bit repetitive, but it’s totally free (it is by a non-profit) and I like the Australian accents.

    I tried Insight Timer and it was pretty hit or miss (free meditations from tons of creators with an optional sub for courses and a few features), and Oak which was good but I remember being very basic.

    I’m sorry you’re going through this. It’s ok to not be ok. Give yourself some space and time.


  • Sure thing!

    For what it’s worth, if you tell a therapist you’re not religious/not interested in pursuing that it should be respected. It’s just a topic I’ve had a lot of issues with before so I usually ask if they follow “an evidence-based approach” up front, which I’ve had good luck with.

    The best therapist I had was very religious herself and had a large cross tattoo, but respected my lack of belief and only brought up religion as it related to the issues I was working through.

    So not a dealbreaker but just something I personally look for :) most I’ve seen are fine working with both religious and non-religious people.


  • From my experience:

    1. It depends on the therapist. Ultimately what I got out of it is heavily based on what I put into it. If I just showed up and said everything was fine when it wasn’t, that obviously didn’t help. If I didn’t do the “homework”, that didn’t help. If I was bullshitting and the therapist knew I was and didn’t call me on it, that didn’t help. At one point I was struggling with religion, and having a therapist say I just needed to pray more didn’t help.

    2. It can be, but if you have an understanding of what you’re looking for it can be helpful. For example:

    • I prefer therapists who follow the school of cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) over almost any other kind. If they follow psychoanalytical methods I probably won’t mesh with them. If you like a particular school, go with that.
    • Are you religious or does it play a big role in your life? If not, it might be useful to find one that is friendly to atheists or doesn’t mention religion or spiritual guidance as a big part of their approach.
    • You mention you have ADHD and autism, finding therapists with focus/experience on those can be helpful. Same if you need help with a particular topic like familial relationships, sex, addiction, etc.
    • Are you a part of any other groups? If you’re not straight, going to a therapist that “supports diversity” or has similar sentences in their bio can help.
    • Are you more open over video? If so, a therapist that does video visits may help.
    1. My insurance covers mental health benefits, so I go to their site and find a provider. They usually have filters for main approach, specialties, etc. You should double check they’re taking new patients and take your insurance because sometimes that changes fast. I usually find a few I’m interested in and email them asking any questions. If we both seem ok, we move forward and schedule something.

    Don’t give up if you don’t find someone immediately, it can take a few to find one you vibe with. Best of luck!