• potustheplant
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    14
    arrow-down
    10
    ·
    edit-2
    1 month ago

    they take it personally because to them, they’re just normal.

    Maybe they (including myself) might take it personally because to them you ARE normal. Regardless of your gender, skin colour or sexual orientation.

    So, if I’m treating everyone the same, why is it wrong to ask for other people to do it as well? For example, if I’m trying to talk about a certain topic and your opinion is discarded simply because “you’re cis” then yeah, I have every right to be offended. Just because I’m white and a man it doesn’t mean that I’m necessarily part of the problem.

    And no, I wouldn’t presume to know how if feels to be part of a minority that has to face constant violence and discrimination but that’s precisely why I want to have the conversation, I want to better understand what other people are going through. Although, that doesn’t mean that I will (or should) agree with everything the other person says. Being part of a minority doesn’t magically make you right about everything. Just like I might be biased due to my personal context, you can be biased because of yours.

    • Plume (She/Her)@lemmy.blahaj.zone
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      21
      arrow-down
      2
      ·
      1 month ago

      I’m afraid you are putting a lot of words into my mouth and making lots of assomptions about what I’m saying here. I don’t really know how to answer to this because, well, you’re debating against things I didn’t say.

      I’m calling you cis, because it’s simply a descriptive term. You are white, you are a man, you are cisgender. That’s not a problem. I’m white, I’m a woman, I’m transgender. That’s not a problem. These, on their own, are simply descriptors. No one here is saying that you’re a problem. I’m talking about people who specifically take offense to these terms, like Musk here does, like, if you tell this man that he is “cis”, he will genuienly get upset.

      • potustheplant
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        6
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        1 month ago

        You misunderstood my point. Context is important and, in this case, the context is using these terms in a platform for discussion (which are usually not very friendly). In my comment, I was thinking of why calling someone “cis” or “trans” or any other thing in a conversation can often be to insult or discredit the other person and why that’s wrong.

        • TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          1
          ·
          edit-2
          1 month ago

          not understanding your point is the point. you are not human. you are the evil majority who can’t ever experience bad things… and if you do… you deserve it.

          the irony of so many oppressed people is that they dont’ want freedom from oppression, they want to oppress. they want revenge not harmony.

          and no better way to tell it when you express yourself politely and they ATTACK you for doing so and are unable to admit that trans folks can also be oppressors of each other and other people. oppression doesn’t make you a saint.

    • TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      edit-2
      1 month ago

      amen.

      i keep trying to be on the side of these people, but they keep telling me i’m a shit person because of my skin color, my gentials, my education, etc. and ironically… most of these people are WAY more privileged than will ever be. I’m so sick of trans/feminist peopel telling me off that i’m a POS who got all the advantages in life… while they often got free-rides on the life train due to parental wealth and exploiting other people where as i had to struggle to get into college and pay off my debts and didn’t get a tsate of this so called of ‘privileged’ until iwas well into my 30s. all the while being constantly harassed for not being a ‘real man’ and also ‘being a man’. all i ever wanted was to be left alone to do my own thing… but no. the second i want ot empathize about being beating for my non-gender conformity, i’m told to STFU and that I’m ‘stealing’ or whatever, because apparently my expereince of my gendered life and gender violence doesn’t exist or is all lies and falsehoods because i’m not trans, or a woman. and oh by the way, if it did really happen… i clearly deserved it because of the debt i own gender minorities or something.

      like… ok i won’t be on your side anymore then. i’ll just leave you to your own bitterness and focus on folks who treat me well who aren’t pathologically violent against anyone who is different than them and who take offense at every perceived slight.

    • Socsa@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      2
      arrow-down
      2
      ·
      1 month ago

      I have never been excluded from truth seeking conversations because I am cis. Everyone likes an ally. Some people actually like them a little too much in my experience.

      If you are in a queer safe space you should treat it like you are at your in-laws house. You don’t need to be expressing every diverging opinion or challenging every cultural assumption. In my experience, if you are being met with hostility, it’s because you are projecting it.

      • potustheplant
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        1 month ago

        I have never been excluded from truth seeking conversations because I am cis.

        Congrats. Unfortunately, it has not been my experience.

        if you are being met with hostility, it’s because you are projecting it.

        I honestly don’t think I am but it is something that I could ask if it happens again.

        In my past experiences where my questions or disagreements, etc have been met with hostility, the reason seems to be that if I don’t 100% agree with what the other person is saying, it’s simply because I’m a straight white man and don’t know any better. Which, as you may guess, doesn’t lead to a very productive discussion.

        • TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          1
          ·
          edit-2
          1 month ago

          that’s because of purists and nutjobs any disagreement whatsoever is hostile to them. the notion of civil disagreement, or just polite disagreement is met with violence, because tehy are passive aggressive nut jobs. they don’t want you to be an ally, they dont’ want to work with you to improve things, they want to you submit to their crazy.

          just like if you go into your in laws, they ask you for a cup of tea, and you know they serve shitty tea, so you decline it politely, and they go ‘oh so what is our tea not good enough for you?’

      • potustheplant
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        4
        ·
        1 month ago

        I think “slur” is not the right word but in some cases it can be used ina a derogartory or dimissive way.

          • potustheplant
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            1
            ·
            1 month ago

            By “post” do you mean the comment I replied to or the actual OP? Because I believe that the intent behind classifying “cis” as an insult is more aligned with my interpretation.

            • If using the word “cisgender” is a ban-worthy offense, it’s not being considered “a word that can sometimes be insulting”, it’s being considered “a word that is inherently harmful to use in almost any situation”

              • potustheplant
                link
                fedilink
                arrow-up
                1
                ·
                1 month ago

                I don’t think that terms that can get you banned would do so in any context. You’d have to use it and then someone else would have to report you. Might be wrong though.