I get antsy when I walk by any large dogs since I’m small and pretty weak. There’s this one family in my neighborhood who has their tiny son walk their giant Malamute and whenever I walk by them I can’t help but think, “If that dog decides to tear my throat out for some reason I am so incredibly fucked.”

I’m not too enthused about dog ownership in general, even putting safety aside. It’s exceedingly rare that I encounter dog owners who have given their dogs proper training and socialization as well as consistent physical and mental stimulation. I say this as someone that loves dogs but would never own one because I know I just don’t have the mental bandwidth to give them the care and attention they deserve.