I’ve posted here a lot about my mental health, I lost basically everything, I have no one I can talk to, my car is wrecked, I have less than 100 bucks in my bank account, while I have housing their are problems that make it not the best. I have 1k in debt.
In terms of my housing, I lived with some members a activist group for a bit, but they got too extreme the the point where they think me wanting to pay of my debt, save up for a car is individualist and me wanting to go college is carrierist.
Another thing is I’m an unattractive trans fem, que transphobia, I know y’all are gonna laugh like hell when I blow my brains out, some of y’all might be like THIS IS THE Consequences OF GENDER IDEOLOGY.
I just really don’t see a way forward at all, I felt like there isn’t much for me in this world anymore. Everytime I call a suicide hotline I get the dumbest most braindead advice like do an activity I enjoy as if that changes any of the material conditions of my life.
My plan is to have a dead switch, so when I do die 911 is called to help avoid any unnecessary trauma. It’s crazy to think 22 years ends like this.
Depression has a way of creating tunnel vision, friend. This post is a great example. I don’t say that to attack you. I say that hopefully to give you a minute to perhaps consider this.
Like you know Romeo and Juliet how she kills herself when she thought he was dead and he wasn’t and then he… You get what Im saying? Your feelings are like Shakespeare old. Not trying to invalidate, trying to e-hug ya.
Sounds like you’re running with a dumb crowd tbh. WTF is “careerist” is that like where you try to make life comfortable for yourself? You monster!!! Im kidding.
You said your trans. Are you on any medication with regard to that?
I know $1000 debt feels like a lot. You can overcome that. easily. It might feel like you need to find $1000 in 30 days or else!!! But you can breathe and figure out a plan. It’s ok.
I’m on HRT (hasn’t worked) cause I’m genetically cursed. And my crowd can say some right things, I’m a leftist. But let’s not bring politics into this cause it really doesn’t matter in grand scheme of things, and no I can’t figure out a plan, I don’t even got another place to go. And what your saying doesn’t apply, I’ve never really been consistently happy, my life is mostly bad.
Okay so take into consideration that HRT can absolutely cause emotional disturbances, and that can cloud judgment.
like, talk to your doctors. Pretty please.
This ain’t about politics Holmes, it’s about science 🤓
Blaming HRT on someone being suicidal isn’t science, that’s not even fucking proven. Jesus Christ. Just cause it didn’t help me doesn’t mean it didn’t help countless others fuck
https://scholar.google.com/scholar?hl=en&as_sdt=0%2C31&q=hrt+and+mood+swings&btnG=
It is. Not trying to invalidate your experience here, but now you’re just ignoring peer reviewed research.
I made no comment on the efficacy of the treatment, only that hormones and emotions are causally linked. Changing the hormonal balance in your body can causse mood changes, which can be a risk for your exact experience, like suicidal ideation.
Please go talk to your doctor.
Your response to my post further exemplifies the tunnel vision I mentioned before. You are projecting your pain into what I’m saying – it isn’t there. I’m here to give you information that can help you.
Talking to doctor is still advisable.
Fucking outlive Trump at least. Stay for the party when he gets sent to prison. The GOP is tearing itself apart. It could be a complete party wipe. There is light at the end of this tunnel.
Whether they are “right” about their political ideas or not is entirely irrelevant. You can’t eat morality, and you can’t live in a house built of ethics. You need to make decisions that help you, regardless of what other people think is “right”.
You can figure out a plan, you might need help. Practical help. Like, government assistance help. I don’t know where you are, but in my area the unemployment office has things like skills training and job placement. There are pathways out of the broke-and-in-debt hole.