I’ve posted here a lot about my mental health, I lost basically everything, I have no one I can talk to, my car is wrecked, I have less than 100 bucks in my bank account, while I have housing their are problems that make it not the best. I have 1k in debt.
In terms of my housing, I lived with some members a activist group for a bit, but they got too extreme the the point where they think me wanting to pay of my debt, save up for a car is individualist and me wanting to go college is carrierist.
Another thing is I’m an unattractive trans fem, que transphobia, I know y’all are gonna laugh like hell when I blow my brains out, some of y’all might be like THIS IS THE Consequences OF GENDER IDEOLOGY.
I just really don’t see a way forward at all, I felt like there isn’t much for me in this world anymore. Everytime I call a suicide hotline I get the dumbest most braindead advice like do an activity I enjoy as if that changes any of the material conditions of my life.
My plan is to have a dead switch, so when I do die 911 is called to help avoid any unnecessary trauma. It’s crazy to think 22 years ends like this.
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. There IS hope for you. I promise. I know that probably doesn’t mean much to you coming from a stranger, but you do matter. Maybe it seems like you don’t matter right now to anyone, and maybe right now you don’t- but I promise that you WILL matter to someone who will love you very much.
Try and hang in there for them. And be patient- they’re on their way.
Lastly, There is always hope. Sometimes it’s not where you want expect it to be, but it’s there.
I know this is vague, but I can’t tell you how things will go for you because I don’t know your situation, but I absolutely can tell you how things will go if you don’t.
Please live.