I’ve posted here a lot about my mental health, I lost basically everything, I have no one I can talk to, my car is wrecked, I have less than 100 bucks in my bank account, while I have housing their are problems that make it not the best. I have 1k in debt.
In terms of my housing, I lived with some members a activist group for a bit, but they got too extreme the the point where they think me wanting to pay of my debt, save up for a car is individualist and me wanting to go college is carrierist.
Another thing is I’m an unattractive trans fem, que transphobia, I know y’all are gonna laugh like hell when I blow my brains out, some of y’all might be like THIS IS THE Consequences OF GENDER IDEOLOGY.
I just really don’t see a way forward at all, I felt like there isn’t much for me in this world anymore. Everytime I call a suicide hotline I get the dumbest most braindead advice like do an activity I enjoy as if that changes any of the material conditions of my life.
My plan is to have a dead switch, so when I do die 911 is called to help avoid any unnecessary trauma. It’s crazy to think 22 years ends like this.
I used to think of life as an experience, as a thing I would pass through and see things along the way.
Now I see life as an opportunity to do things. If anything, I’m the experience creator, creating experiences for other people.
In my own experience, I’ve found the second point of view works much better for my adult life.
Anyone who implied life would just “get better” for you was unfortunately peddling misinformation. Life can be made better by you. That’s what being 18 is all about: the power and the responsibility are now in your hands, which means you no longer have to just take what comes your way.