Unsure if your snack gets the David Seymour tick? This will clear things up.

In announcing changes to the school lunches programme, David Seymour said kids would no longer be served ‘woke’ foods. To clear up any confusion, The Spinoff has compiled a guide to the wokeness levels of some common food items.

  • TheIvoryTower@lemmy.worldEnglish
    557·
    6 months ago

    Just hoping that everyone understands that The Spinoff, like The Onion, is a satirical website

  • Dorkyd68@lemmy.worldEnglish
    321·
    6 months ago

    I just can’t with the dumb anymore. I’m surprised they don’t call bananas woke, cause ya know phallic and that gay

  • antidote101@lemmy.worldEnglish
    30·
    6 months ago

    Curry is woke! Finally someone said it!

    … it’s because it’s foreign and makes my mouth feel burning. I don’t like it. I’m glad someone is finally standing up to this woke nonsense invading our culture!

    …holy shit, I was pretending but are these guys just afraid of being colonized? It’s like a projection of a fear of being on the other side of the historical fence, a subconscious history they can’t acknowledge so it comes out as a fear of foriegn things they don’t understand being in control of their “new world”

      • antidote101@lemmy.worldEnglish
        2·
        6 months ago

        Yes! Or that stuff from 80s movies… That they had at the end of long business meetings: Chinese take out!

        So much better than foriegn foods like German Hamburgers or French fries.

        Nah: Real American food like freedom fries!

  • boredtortoise@lemm.eeEnglish
    27·
    6 months ago

    Based on that list; here are two ChatGPT generated meal plans, one for a woke person and one for a not woke person (don’t ask about the numbers, it probably can’t count):

    Woke Meal Plan:

    • Breakfast: Avocado toast with quinoa sprinkles (Approx. 350 calories)

    • Snack: Banana with almond butter (Approx. 200 calories)

    • Lunch: Quinoa salad with chickpeas, mixed greens, and avocado (Approx. 450 calories)

    • Snack: Hummus with carrot sticks (Approx. 150 calories)

    • Dinner: Tofu stir-fry with a side of non-dairy milk (Approx. 400 calories)

    Total calories: Approximately 1550 calories

    Not Woke Meal Plan:

    • Breakfast: Bacon and cheese omelette with a side of toast and cow’s milk (Approx. 600 calories)

    • Snack: Chocolate chip muffin (Approx. 400 calories)

    • Lunch: Burger and fries with a milkshake (Approx. 1200 calories)

    • Snack: Cheese and crackers (Approx. 300 calories)

    • Dinner: Spaghetti-topped pizza with a side of garlic bread and a glass of cow’s milk (Approx. 800 calories)

    Total calories: Approximately 3300 calories

    These are rough estimates and may vary depending on specific ingredients and portion sizes.

    • Fisk400@feddit.nuEnglish
      38·
      6 months ago

      So chatGPT is basically going with the interpretation that healthy and woke is the same thing when it comes to food. That feels about right.

      • boredtortoise@lemm.eeEnglish
        3·
        6 months ago

        People who drink milk can include:

        • Not Woke Children: Milk is often a staple in children’s diets for its calcium and nutrient content, essential for growth and development.
        • Not Woke Farmers: In rural areas, farmers may drink milk from their own cows or livestock.
        • Not Woke Athletes: Milk is sometimes seen as a source of protein for muscle recovery and growth.
        • Not Woke Health-conscious individuals: Some people drink milk for its calcium and vitamin D content, believing it promotes bone health.
        • Not Woke Movie villains: While not a common trope, some movie villains may be depicted drinking milk in a sinister or unsettling manner, contrasting the innocence associated with milk.
        • AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppet@lemmy.worldEnglish
          3·
          6 months ago
          • Not Woke Movie villains: While not a common trope, some movie villains may be depicted drinking milk in a sinister or unsettling manner, contrasting the innocence associated with milk.

          That happened one time!

        • Guntrigger@sopuli.xyzEnglish
          3·
          6 months ago

          Well, sure. But Mr. Non-Woke apparently needs cow’s milk in all three meals of the day anyway, so it didn’t need to have milk with dinner specifically.

      • DaDragon@kbin.social
        1·
        6 months ago

        Because some people enjoy milk with their food? (I know it’s not the answer you’re going for)

      • boredtortoise@lemm.eeEnglish
        9·
        6 months ago

        Too confusing for computer smh

        Apologies for the oversight. Let’s adjust the woke meal plan accordingly:

        Woke Meal Plan (Revised):

        • Breakfast: Avocado toast with quinoa sprinkles (Approx. 350 calories
        • Snack: Apple slices with almond butter (Approx. 200 calories)
        • Lunch: Quinoa salad with chickpeas, mixed greens, and avocado (Approx. 450 calories)
        • Snack: Hummus with carrot sticks (Approx. 150 calories)
        • Dinner: Tofu stir-fry with a side of non-dairy milk (Approx. 400 calories)

        Total calories: Approximately 1550 calories

        “appy slicey not woke”

        Snack: Sliced cucumber with almond butter (Approx. 200 calories)

  • PDFuego@lemmy.worldEnglish
    23·
    6 months ago

    Surely that spaghetti-topped pizza isn’t real, that’s got to be from one of those ragebait tiktoks or something right? That looks and sounds awful.

  • Nikku772@kbin.social
    20·
    6 months ago

    I think the funnest one is “ Spice, all = WOKE”, like damn…. All spices in the world?

  • ouRKaoS@lemmy.todayEnglish
    7·
    6 months ago

    Hot dog, battered

    …the fuck is this woke-ass gender neutral bullshit?

    It’s called a CORN DOG, and they are glorious!

  • maculata@aussie.zoneEnglish
    41·
    6 months ago

    Not woke: penis for boys.

    Not woke: pussy for girls.

    Not woke: anything to do with people whose skin is not Lily-white.