CHICAGO—Eradicating any sense of respectability and gentlemanliness he thought he possessed during the long winter months, local man Brendan Watt was reminded Thursday by the return of more revealing spring attire that he is nothing more than a vulgar, hormonal ogre who has to actively keep his thoughts and gaze in check whenever he goes out in public, the disheartened 33-year-old confirmed to reporters. “God,” Watt reportedly said to himself while walking to work amid a variety of women wearing skirts and light strapless garments, as he arrived at the annual realization that he is, despite his best hopes, a chemically driven beast who must mentally tell himself he doesn’t need to take another glance at women who pass by in tank tops and yoga pants. “And there’s still five more months of this, for Christ’s sake.” At press time, Watt had just caught himself taking a second look at a girl who—Jesus—was a good 15 years younger than him, and was sadly accepting that this is just who he is.
They have a rule, in writing, at the university campuses around here. 2.5 seconds is the limit for looking at people before it becomes harassment (it was explained to us as looking at girls but I don’t know if that’s the language in the rule)
I’m assuming the rule applies to contractors mainly but I was pretty disappointed that it had to be written down in the first place.
My hormones tell me to look at the butt, however my brain is capable of thinking about how the person in possession of the butt may not appreciate being gawked at.
Men are the worst lol
pulling up the timer app every time somebody glances at me
Yeah we all made similar jokes lol
Freshmen are issued eye-tracking AR glasses with timers displayed above every human
Yeah you’d think