I remember a thread on the network that shall not be named wit this question that brought me much joy. I’ll start with a couple I remember:
Did you fall from heaven? Because your face is really messed up.
You’ve got wrench eyes, when I look at you my nuts tighten.
I apologize if this is not appropriate, or the right community, still getting used to lemmy!
2007, on a high school field trip to an amusement park. My friends and I were all standing around outside, near a little restaurant seating area.
A teenage boy from another school came bolting over, nearly knocking over a chair. He said to me directly, “I’m lost, can you find my dad?”
He was fake twitching and holding his hands up against his chest. I was just confused, and none of us knew how to respond. Just a second later, another teenage boy (not fake twitching this time) ran up. He threw his arm around the other boy and said to me, “thank you for watching my mentally challenged* friend. Can I have your number in case it happens again?”
A teacher promptly ran over and broke up the interaction, telling the boys to beat it.
Probably the most creative attempt I’ve ever witnessed, although it was pretty clumsy. We referred to them as “Mr. Twitch and Captain Pickup Line” in retelling of the story throughout high school lol
*not the terminology he used in 2007
I’ve shat my bed, can I sleep in yours instead.
“Do you like Apple Pie? Wanna F***?”
Did it work though?
He claimed it worked I guess.
giga chad
“Wanna come back to my place and play house? You can be the door, and I’ll slam you.” - Joe Barbaro
Is heaven missing an angel, because you’ve got nice cans!
Unexpected Futrama
Futurama should always be expected
Is this Minecraft? Because I wanna make your bedrock.
It’s the right community. I guess this would also work on !chat@beehaw.org
“Do you want millions? Millions of my children?”
“Can I smell your boots?”
“your hat doesn’t look good, but you look alright” negging is weird. I once got “you look like Albert Einstein” it was a guy who wanted to talk about some charity with Einstein as their center piece(?). I am still unsure how I feel about that haha
