I’ve been lurking here more lately, but I haven’t been completely absent. It’s been around a year since I joined lemmy, and just over a year since I came to the conclusion that I am indeed trans.
It took a while, I’ve had a few big steps up in feeling comfortable with being trans. I spent 6+ months on a kick of “I’m not cis/I might be trans” and a bit later to “I’m trans, but embarrassed about it” but in the last couple of months keep getting more, almost, proud to be trans. A couple months back I finally accepted calling myself a trans-woman. Still a bit of a shock to me 😅
I finally started pulling the trigger and started buying some stuff from the women’s dept, mostly just lounge and sleep wear. But feel somewhat less uncomfortable about even looking at it.
I told my therapist a couple months back I had started more seriously researching hrt and she asked how it felt. I said something like, “nervous, but a little excited…” more recently, it’s been more like “excited, with a little bit of nervous. Like waiting in line on a new roller-coaster”
My spouse had some struggles at first, and is still also figuring things out with me, but sounds super accepting and has talked about hrt and other ideas as if it’s any other typical big relationship topic.
Also, lately, euphoria-wise, I realized, I fucking love sleep shirts and sleep dresses! It’s been just over a year since I cut my hair and occasionally, it sits around my face just right I can see a woman beginning to appear! ☺️ Its getting long enough to be able to do the little head shake/flip to get the hair out of my eye and it’s kind of euphoric to be able to do that.
ANY-WHOSE how are things going with the rest of you girls? Any new, unexpected euphoria lately? Any tips or tricks? I feel like I’m past so much fear and almost ready to come out to some people
Oh! BTW, I did actually come out to an old friend and an old coworker who both understood and accepted, which was awesome!
Edit: also, fun fact! I have red hair. And about as much body hair as is possible. I’ve been trying to remove it, never really liked it, convinced myself I was fine with it. I’m not anymore. Either way! Found out from an estatician that apparently redheads have deeper rooted hair. 🤷♀️ Also! I already knew redheads were less sensitive to anesthetics. So, I have tons of body hair, deeper rooted hair, and numbing stuff doesn’t work that well… It fucking *sucks" but I’m trying my damndest to power through.
my boobs are starting to show a lil :3 mixed feelings, though, what with the, uh, climate being as it is. guess i’ll keep wearing baggy stuff until i can get out of here. not much has changed, face-wise, but i guess my visage has always been somewhat androgynous. oh well, i haven’t been on E that long, anyway.
my partner is coming to stay with me for a month ❤ they’ll be arriving tomorrow evening. when they leave, i’ll be going with them, to stay at their house in Spain for a month. exciting! scary, also. i’m all kinds of disabled, so having to fly back on my own worries me terribly.
i’ve come to the conclusion i wouldn’t mind the body hair i have, as long as i get a body that’s feminine enough. guess i’m like… a nonbiney woman? i think that’s prolly the best i can do. fuken h8 my facial hair, though, but i’m working on it.
i wish you all the best on your journey, friend ❤
I’m very fuzzy still on the idea of non-binay¿but my guesses based on what you’ve described, I would think more enby than either/or. I just hope you’re comfortable and accepted as you feel comfortable.
Hello! Totally get it about the body hair. Up until recently I was very anti-hair removal (anything cosmetic really), but now I realize that was just jealousy :P In the before times, I’d shave my pits every so often, but I didn’t really know why and felt shameful. This week I’ve been taking long showers with a razor, and it’s fabulous!
Since I’m new here perhaps I should share my story (I’ll save the “so obvious in hindsight” episodes for another time).
T minus two years: Follow a link to Contrapoints for analysis on the alt-right, end up watching pretty much everything. Huh, gender philosophy is quite interesting.
T minus one year: one of Azul Crescent’s comics pops up in the global Mastodon feed. It’s cute so I start following. Wait, is this a trans comic? Probably shouldn’t be reading this, but …
T minus two weeks: strangely fascinated with the daily posts. Huh, so this is what trans women are like? Must be nice to grow boobs (SUPPRESS THOUGHT). Still don’t really get the comic though, perhaps I’d better read it from the beginning.
T minus one week: aww, that’s so sweet, wish I was like Cheryl (SUPPRESS HARDER). Oh, hey, she has a youtube channel talking about trans stuff. What’s egg_irl?
Google.
Scroll.
Oh. Oh no. Oh noooooooo.
Today: egg fully cracked.
😂 I love this! Egg_irl is where my serious questioning first started as well! I’m not aware of that comic, but I’ll definitely want to check it out now.
I will share this though, shortly after realizing myself, I stumbled upon this comic, and the following episode resonated so strongly with me! It’s hard to put into words, but, we’re not alone.
Start here and go for the next few weeks or so for the whole “origins story” https://reallifecomics.com/comic-mobile.php?comic=june-29-2020
Oh!!! That first page was posted on egg_irl, and really resonated with me too! Thanks, I’ll check it out.
The comic I read is I want to be a cute anime girl.
Edit: Oh, and the “silly scribbles” such as this one
Oooh I like the look of those comics! Somewhere like Egg_irl is where I was introduced to real life comics.
Sleepwear is definitely a hack, I used that a lot early in my transition too as a low stakes method of affirmation.
With respect to dysphoria I’ve frankly reached a point where it’s not so prevalent in my day to day life, ca 5 years into my social transition. It crops up of course but it’s much less pronounced, to the point where I was technically misgendered by a colleague (who did the right thing and immediately and discretely corrected himself), and that didn’t even feel bad at all.
This also applies to euphoria though.
I guess it makes sense it would be less euphoria and more normal stuff over time, I hadn’t thought about it but good to be aware of.
Had a dream that someone in my life reciprocated feelings, so today I’m living the worst kind of dysphoric depression.
Congrats on all the progress you’re making, that’s amazing to hear. I’m definitely going to try out a sleep dress soon!
Those kind of dreams are so hard.
They can be super comfy! It’s nice to just lounge around in too.
There was a time when my depression was at its worst when I was so afraid to go to sleep because I couldn’t stop dreaming good things and it was unbearable to come back to reality, which sucked because I also wanted to spend as little time concious as possible. Kind of incredible I never tried anything I think
Glad to hear that you are doing well!
Next week for me will be 1 year on HRT, and I’m planning on making a post about it soon. I’ve also started prog recently and it is amazing. My overall mood and sleep quality has significantly improved and I have so much more energy now.
I can only conclude that being on Lemmy causes transgenderism. JK, happy things are going well for you!
I would’ve been trans on reddit, but the shit the bed right around the time I realized 😂
