When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

Nice intro, honestly. Good hook. “Hey, we’re gonna go do our own thing, and it’d be rude to not say why, if only for the history books”.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

Not shabby. Could have been “all people”. And, obviously must acknowledge that he first draft was “pursuit of Property”, since the main point of their whole revolution was a tax dodge for wealthy white landowners.

–That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.

This is downright spicy by modern standards. If I posted this section alone i’d be getting a visit from a three letter agency.

Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed.

Lol, “look we all know the average person would rather just keep suffering than effect meaningful change, but come on guys”

But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.

Wait do they really say “it is their duty to throw off such government”? Wow. They really say “It is their duty to throw off such government”. Can you imagine trying to tell someone that “it is their duty to throw off such government” today? Wild. Me: “It is your right and duty to throw off the shackles of government. You have nothing to lose but your chains.” Them: “Lol no, I love not thinking”.

–Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

Ok now we’ve established that revolutions are cool and good, let’s get to the meat of why we’re doing it.