I am a lazy failure who can’t do anything. Basic shit I consistently just… don’t do. Its embarrassing. I don’t even want to list all of it. I have hobby stuff I’ve wanted to for years that I’ve just never gotten set up. Homework? More like I’m not fucking doing that. I’ve been wanting to take steps for months to get myself on hormones and get clothes but have I done them? No? Of course not, because I’m fucking lazy. All I do is rot. Its been this way for a long time, I can’t even remember when the last time I didn’t struggle with this. And it doesn’t feel like its getting better. If it really is my autism I’m not sure how it ever can get better.
I deal with the same issue and find myself in the same mindset pretty often. One thing I can say is that we aren’t lazy failures, there is a lot of nuance to the way an ADHD/Anxiety/OCD brain functions. One of them is executive dysfunction, another the subsequent act of blaming ourselves for it.
One thing I can say that helps me is taking a step back, getting a high level view of all the tasks, and looking for the lowest hanging fruit. Completing one small item gives me the feeling of accomplishment and urge to check a few more items off the list.
Hope that helps. You aren’t alone!